BULLS ASK CIRQUE DU' SOLEIL TO TAKE OVER REMAINING HOME DATES

CHICAGO- In a move to put the greater Chicago metropolitan region at ease, the Chicago Bulls are announcing that the tour of Cirque Du' Soleil will be showing in the United Center until April 13th...the final home game for the Chicago Bulls.

"We saw what Illinois was able to get out of by having the circus come to town.  Now they don't have to host that silly NIT game.  That gave Gar and I an idea.  Why don't we pay for the Circus to stop here," stated Bulls chairman Jerry Reinsdorf.

The idea to accept the Cirque Du Soleil tour was only made after Gar Foreman and Jerry Reinsdorf debated over creating a musical called 'Gar and I' starring the two characters as themselves. 

When both realized this selection was not realistic, the men called on the circus.

The shows will only take place on nights in which the Bulls were scheduled to play.  The Bulls and the NBA have agreed to a record breaking 17 game road trip.  The Blackhawks will be able to play on other nights.

Even Mayor Daley applauded the decision.

"I was trying to call one of my guys about a deal that another guy was makin' on this property that some guys were tryin' to buy...and we had the Bulls game on.  This guy on the phone is watchin the game.  This guy dies.  The other guy who owns the property didn't know that the other guy was dead, so he's still talkin' about this property.  The Bulls killed him.  This guy.  Who was makin' a deal.  I'm not good at telling stories."

The losing has weighted on many Bulls fans including one Barack Obama.  The seven game losing streak has prompted a huge push of the controversial health care bill.

"Single payer, premium reduction, overhaul payback...I don't care.  I just want something positive to happen.  When the Bulls win I'm able to ignore Rahm.  Now I find myself reading books with my daughter or talking about green reform.  Hey...psst.  I don't want to do either of those things....By the way, the CIA is taking out James Johnson.  That man makes me sick."

In the rare event the Bulls make the playoffs, the team has agreed to forfeit.

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