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Detroit Red Wings Family Mistakenly Leaves Pack of Newports, Scratch-Offs, and WWE T-Shirts at United Center After Game Versus Blackhawks

Detroit Red Wings Family Mistakenly Leaves Pack of Newports, Scratch-Offs, and WWE T-Shirts at United Center After Game Versus Blackhawks
CHICAGO – The Burson family left the United Center in a dreary mood. Their favorite team, the Detroit Red Wings, had just lost to the Chiago Blackhawks 2-1.  A five hour family trip from Baldwin, Michigan to Chicago was fun for the group of four, but the loss put a hamper on the evening. However... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
today at 1:15 am
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Woman in Virginia Terminates Pregnancy After Seeing Fetus Clad in Redskins Colors

Woman in Virginia Terminates Pregnancy After Seeing Fetus Clad in Redskins Colors
FAIRFAX – A new law requiring Virginia women to go through a trans-vaginal procedure has met its first casualty. Meghan Giddings of Fairfax was 10 weeks pregnant when she went through the newly mandated procedure.  After seeing the child for the first time, Giddings decided that the abortion procedure should be stopped.  The sight of... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
February 19, 2012 at 1:37 am
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Five Positive Blackhawks Videos; Or, How to Endure Another Losing Streak

Five Positive Blackhawks Videos; Or, How to Endure Another Losing Streak
The Blackhawks snapped a nine game losing streak tonight by defeating the New York Rangers at Madison Square Garden. The streak itself was frightening, bothersome, tension-filled, saddening…one of the more bewildered times I’ve had as a fan in the Post-Bill Wirtz era. Now that it’s over, I want to share with the world how I... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
February 17, 2012 at 12:37 am
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Bears Still Wary of Drafting Receivers With Hands

Bears Still Wary of Drafting Receivers With Hands
LAKE FOREST – In the dark film rooms of Halas Hall, new Chicago Bears general manager Phil Emery and his scouts are being confronted with an age old Bears problem: Can you really trust a wide receiver with great hands. “We’re watching film of this (Michael) Floyd guy,” said Emery.  “You just have to wonder…I know... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
February 16, 2012 at 1:33 am
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Chicago Tough Valentine's Day Special: All-Time Favorite Parts of Chicago Athletes

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Valentine’s Day is a time to share our love for one another.  That being said, we here at Chicago Tough want to show our love towards our favorite athletes in Chicago sports history. Here is a quick poll showing what body features we’ve admired most in our athletes.  
By Captain Meatball,
February 14, 2012 at 1:15 am
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Area Man Spends Most of Afternoon Convincing Himself that He Could've Led Bears Past Kansas City Chiefs

Area Man Spends Most of Afternoon Convincing Himself that He Could've Led Bears Past Kansas City Chiefs
EVERGREEN PARK- Don Spizzi spent the majority of his afternoon cleaning up debris from the previous weekend in his backyard. “Ahhh!  It’s those kids next door.  The parents go out and they have these big parties, and then they just take the garbage and dump it into my backyard.  This has been the first time I’ve... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
February 13, 2012 at 1:38 am
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Asian-American Parents on High Alert; Knicks' Jeremy Lin Convincing Kids to Play Basketball, Screw Doctorate

Asian-American Parents on High Alert; Knicks' Jeremy Lin Convincing Kids to Play Basketball, Screw Doctorate
NEW YORK – An emergency meeting was held on the campus of St. John’s University late last night.  Hundreds of frightened Asian-American parents from various boroughs crammed into a small classroom to voice a new concern:  Asian-American children thinking of basketball fame instead of a livelihood in the medical field or technology. “My family worked... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
February 9, 2012 at 1:57 am
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Chicago Tough Horoscope (1/8-1/14)

Chicago Tough Horoscope (1/8-1/14)
The world’s best horoscope is here.  Enjoy. Aries (3/21-4/19) Prepare for a rousing conflict when your hotel doesn’t recognize that your ‘continent’ in your continental breakfast is Africa. Taurus (4/20-5/20) You’ve always hated Twitter.  But this week it will reach a boiling point when you’re incorrectly notified of the cancellation of Toddlers and Tiaras. Gemini (5/21-6/20)... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
February 8, 2012 at 1:49 am
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Chicago Tough's 12 Days of Super Bowl: The Big Prediction Giants Patriots

Chicago Tough's 12 Days of Super Bowl: The Big Prediction Giants Patriots
You have heard countless Super Bowl predictions.  However, you haven’t heard my Super Bowl prediction.  Thusly, you have not heard any Super Bowl predictions.  (And yes, that was an effort to use the word ‘thusly’ in a sentence) The fierce pass rush of the New York Giants meets the debonnaire Tom Brady and his oddly-white... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
February 5, 2012 at 4:03 pm
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Chicago Tough's 12 Days of Super Bowl - What to Bring to the Party?

Chicago Tough's 12 Days of Super Bowl - What to Bring to the Party?
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By Captain Meatball,
February 3, 2012 at 1:31 am
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