Okay. Sunday February 26th millions of people all over the globe, including myself will willingly sit in front of the tube and watch three hours of boredom.
It's the 84th year that Oscars will be awarded. One thing is certain: after Billy Crystal wows the audience the rest of the program will be the same old tired format. At least the "hotshots" that run the Oscars have finally realized that an injection of fun has to be added.
In my opinion there have been only two people that made the Oscar show entertaining, Bob Hope and Billy Crystal. There's an old saying that age and treachery will beat youth and ambition. The point is that after last years "Dull Fest", Oscar Schmoscar learned it's lesson.
That said, what have we got to look forward to? At one time Joan Rivers made the red carpet interviews funny and kept it interesting. She enhanced the glamour of the pre-show. Now, I avoid the red carpet interviews. The actors look as if someone dragged them to the microphone and can't get away fast enough. They make for some of the most boring interviews of the night.
Really, who cares? The questions are banal. "How do you feel about your Oscar nomination?" and the answers are always the same: "It's an honor just being nominated". Bullshit. "What are you wearing?" I can't wait for someone to say to just say "clothes". And the questions will continue in the same format ad nauseum.
So the music blares and the announcer welcomes us to the Oscar show. Now, here is what the announcer SHOULD say: "Ladies and Gentleman our Savior Billy Crystal who will be your entertainment for the evening". Then start taking your pills to keep you awake. It is guaranteed you will be bored after Billy's opening monologue.
You will ask yourself "Who?" and "What was that movie?" several times and wonder if it was in a movie theater. We will look forward to some exceptions such as Tom Hanks and George Clooney who in the past have made sensible acceptance speeches. The other winners out of character are braindead as they accept their Schmoscar. "First of all I'd like to thank my mother who alway told me I could do anything I want." And that starts the littany of agents, writers, the greatest cast assembled and yes, I love my wife or my husband for their support. Most of the winners will be the same as the Golden Globes or SAG.
Michelle Williams should win for her mesmerizing performance as Marilyn Monroe. But she won't. Either George Clooney or Brad Pitt should win the Oscar in their category. But they won't. Because the Oscar voters enjoy a French film nobody has heard of and an actor no one has ever seen.
The audience will be disappointed and yell at their TV's, "you've gotta be kidding". But as I have done for probably 60 years, I will watch all three hours and swear this is my last year.
We'll see you next year.
Memories light the corners of my mind and I hope yours too.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Tags: Academy Awards, Billy Crystal, George Clooney, Oscar
I wonder if anyone even cares about the substance of the Oscars, or even the Emmys, given that there doesn't seem to be much interest in movies appearing in the theater. Maybe there would be more interest if the CGI characters from Pixar and Dreamworks got most of the nominations. Let Puss in Boots (not Antonio Banderas) ascend the podium.
jack, didn't they do that once (with special effects of course)?
Maybe the Oscars shoud be televised with all CGI, it would be a better show! Thanks for writing Jack.
Norm, Johnny Carson was a stand-out host too.
Thank you very much for the reminder. Johnny Carson was always one of the greats.
Without wishing to sound holier-than-thou, I am starting to find all this glitz and ego rather tiresoeme given the poverty and devastation that's going on around the world at the moment.
I couldn't agree more, thanks for your comments.