Behold, press conference drinking games. Or “press conference Bingo” for those who choose gambling instead of alcohol for their vice. We do not advocate any of these drinking games, and will not be held responsible for any damage inflicted by you or inflicted upon yourself.
These are not your generic cliches; for the most part.
Consider it the Jose Canseco “Juiced” of corporatespeak and lying in the sports media world. That’s a more general list. This is more specific. These are the words and phrases that are to each individual what the word “phony” is to the text of “Catcher in the Rye.”
It’s not just Chicago sports on this list. I included our friendly neighbors from America’s Dairyland too. For this list, I consulted journalists based in Chicago; then allowed Milwaukee and Madison media to join in the fun. No one person could compile a list like this. Unless they did nothing but watch sports press conferences all day.
And it's painfully obvious that I consume way too much media already as it is.
“K.C…..K.C…..” (Tribune scribe K.C. Johnson is usually the only one asking questions that truly matter, so all Bulls press conferences feature Bulls brass addressing him by name repeatedly.
Blackhawks Joel Quenneville: “the pace of our/his game,” “offensive zone cycles,” "we need to get after it more." "We had our chances," "You take this one and you move on," "This is playoff hockey," "I like where we are (cont). Certainly we can get better," "win or lose we like where we are"
White Sox Robin Ventura: any sentence beginning with “Again….”
Fired Cubs Manager Dale Sveum: any sentence beginning with “Obviously…..”
Badgers hoops Coach Bo Ryan: “he’s a player”
anytime he pontificates about his days growing up in Chester, PA and playing in the “biddy league”
“points per possession”
“I don’t like to compare guys”
“I never make opening statements”
Steelers Coach Mike Tomlin: “obviously”
Illini Coach Tim Beckman: anything LOUD NOISES! Words that you need to type out in ALL CAPS. References to lasagna or STEAKS AND CAKES
LSU ‘s Les Miles: anything weird and nonsensical
Former Northwestern hoops Coach Bill Carmody: “make shots” "we got beat on the boards tonight," "we got out-rebounded tonight"
Ron Zook: “in the briar patch” (he doesn’t say it that often, but it was weird enough, and he said it enough times that it was worth mentioning)
Marc Trestman: "Every game is important," "I'm not sure I can answer the question," "Great players make great plays," "We're gonna get back to work," "I thought we did some good things"
Lovie Smith: "everything just resets," "football things," "Rex is our quarterback," "Jay is our quarterback," "Kyle is our quarterback."
Milwaukee Bucks Coach Larry Drew: “on the same page” “on the court”
Paul M. Banks is the owner of The Sports Bank.net, an affiliate of Fox Sports. An analyst for 95.7 The Fan and 1620 The Zone, he also writes for Chicago Now. Follow him on Twitter (@paulmbanks), Facebook, and RSS
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Filed under: Bears