Filomena Tobias: Joakim Noah Antagonist and Alleged Murderer

Filomena Tobias has the most famous middle finger in America right now. Tobias has the most famous middle finger since Jay Cutler. By now you know Filomena Tobias as the supposedly “hot” Miami Heat fan who flipped the bird to Chicago Bulls Center Joakim Noah.

She’s the angry blonde trophy wife who screamed and taunted Noah, as well as Bulls forward Taj Gibson. However, the front row femme fetale is a lot more than just your average spoiled South Florida desperate housewife.

She’s a “black widow.”

According to New York magazine Filomena Tobias is:

the widow (after one year of marriage) of hedge-fund millionaire and CNBC personality Seth Tobias, whose sudden death was covered in-depth by Stephen Rodrick for New York Magazine in 2008. Tobias’s brothers, in a fight for his $25 million estate, accused Filomena of having “lured her husband to his death by drugging him and enticing him with sex with a male prostitute,” but she was ultimately cleared. (There were also an Internet psychic and Ambien involved.)

According to the Sun-Sentinel, Filomena Tobias is a Heat season ticket-holder from Palm Beach, FL.

So there are many reasons why these pictures (CC Fox Sports, Sam Gardner) are ubiquitous today. It’s not just that she’s a very photogenic woman. And a photogenic blonde, which trumps photogenic women of other hair colors in internet search hierarchy. Had Filomena Tobias been unattractive, we’re not talking about her right now. Had she been a meat head crazy sports fan male, instead of a meat head crazy sports fan female, we’re also not having this discussion.

The fact that she seemingly married a rich guy for his money, and then potentially murdered him for it, is why Filomena Tobias is a media sensation right now. However, even without her obviously checkered and allegedly homicidal past, Tobias would still be a big internet sensation. The charges obviously did not stick, but there were allegations, so that makes her "alleged."

No allegations about these pictures; they are tried and true. And just fantastic.

Filomena Tobias falls into the category of what the sports blogging world calls “sideline princesses.”

The most obvious and dominant subset of “sideline princesses” are sideline reporters. People like Jenn Brown, Erin Andrews, Charissa Thompson, Wendy Nix, Jenn Sterger.

Erin Andrews and Charissa Thompson have upgraded to in-studio gigs today, and Nix is a decent in the field reporter, but they all happen to have the same qualities you’ll find in most sideline reporters. A persona that is as inoffensive as possible, and acts nice to absolutely everybody. Needless to say that persona is as inauthentic as you’ll find in sports media. And sports media is a business brimming with inauthentic people.

Numerous sideline reporters were cheerleaders, pageant winners and bikini models before going into broadcasting. Cheerleaders comprise the second major category of the sideline princess, with the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders coming first- and all other NBA Dance Teams, NFL Cheerleading squads, and college cheerleaders a distant second. Although, those in need of page views should write about the Oregon Ducks cheerleaders, USC Song Girls, and L.A. Laker girls whenever possible.

The third and final subset of the sideline princess is what sports bloggers call WAGs (wives and girlfriends, although some people have just used the term Women At Games). Theses are the hotties in the front row seats; and the classification for Filomena Tobias.

That’s why we’re talking about her now: Filomena Tobias is a sideline princess (albeit a foul-mouthed, angry and possibly felonious one) and stories about sideline princesses always move the needle in today’s sports news cycle.

Paul M. Banks is the owner of The Sports He’s also an author who also contributes regularly to MSN, Fox Sports , Chicago Now, Walter and Yardbarker

Banks has appeared on the History Channel, as well as Clear Channel, ESPN and CBS radio all over the world. President Barack Obama follows him on Twitter (@PaulMBanks)

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