New Chicago Cubs outfielder Dave Sappelt, you are no Dave Chappelle. Your attempts at humor are about as effective as Alfonso Soriano’s fielding. Your rendition/attempt at Sinbad’s “women be shopping!” bit fell flat. And your tweets would get you an A+ at the Joe Cowley school of gender relations.
In case you haven’t heard, there’s ice and freezing rain on Midwestern roads tonight. And that means driving might be a bit more treacherous for all. Or if you listen to Sappelt, the road conditions are even more hazardous if you have a vagina. Sappelt tweeted:
“@SappySappelt6 Women driving me scares the dog shit out of me”
I think Danica Patrick may take issue with this since deleted tweet. Wait there’s more, Sappelt earlier tweeted:
“When women get to shopping theres no stopping them looks like its time to pull the
Women driver jokes?? What are you a hack comedian from the 1950s Borsch Belt? Stop sounding like a regressive troglodyte. Secondly, tone down the language. Because tons of kids look up to you. The sailor talk isn’t a good example for them. Third, why would dog shit come out of you? You’re not a quadruped, you’re a human being so how would dog shit get in your system in the first place? Fourth, you’re a Buffalo Bills fan. Actually, this I’ll respect, there are no bandwagon, fair-weather Bills fans on this planet. That team is the Charlie Brown Christmas tree of the NFL.
h/t to Julie DiCaro who had many great responses to this. including this one:
Yeah, Cubs Media Relations, maybe you should invite her to Wrigley to give a seminar.
Paul M. Banks is CEO of The Sports Bank.net, a Google News site generating millions of unique visitors. He’s also a regular contributor to Chicago Now, Chicago Tribune.com, Walter Football.com, Yardbarker, and Fox Sports
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