The First Annual Chicago Sports Holiday Awards

The holiday season is OFFICIALLY upon us.  It may be hard to tell with the holiday decorations and music playing since mid-September but it is officially here.  With the holiday season in full swing it means digging out the ornaments, setting up the tree, shoveling snow, standing in ungodly long lines for gadgets you don't need, shoveling ungodly amounts of food down your throat with no regard for your upcoming physical and if time, spending quality time with the family.  With the holidays on the brain it should make sense that we list the best and worst in Chicago sports in the First Annual Chicago Sports Holiday Awards.

The "Door Buster" Award For Best Performance Based on Salary

And the nominees are...

Darwin Barney, Cubs, $500,000 - A 2012 Gold Glove winner who tied the MLB record for most games without an error at 141.

Chris Sale, White Sox, $500,000 - A 2012 All Star who had a phenomenal year and steadied the top of the Sox rotation along with Jake Peavy

Lance Louis, Bears, $1.2 million - One of the few bright spots on a bad offensive line.  He is their most consistent player on the O-line who comes at a bargain.

And the winner is...

CHRIS SALE

Chris Sale was a machine for the White Sox and helped carry the rotation with Jake Peavy.  Sale's 2012 stats are phenomenal with a 17-8 record, 192 strikeouts, and a 3.05 ERA over 192 innings pitched.   The White Sox have a young ace in their rotation and the Sox would be fools to let him get away but they need to open the check book because if they don't someone else will.

The "Overcooked Turkey" Award For Worst Performance Based on Salary

And the nominees are...

Alfonso Soriano, Cubs, $19 million - Had 32 home runs and 108 RBI's but the Cubs stunk.  Sori's best season as a Cub came when the Cubs were locking in a 100 loss season and he is a liability on defense.  He still has two years left on his albatross of a contract that will pay him $37 million dollars. Hope you didn't choke on your seasonal beer when you read that.

 Carlos Boozer, Bulls, $15 million - He is inconsistent on offense, his defense is non-existent and he is public enemy #1 for Bulls fans who see #5 as nothing more than a waste of space who screams his lungs out and has trouble completing routine plays.  He's still owed over $32 million over the last two years and has most Bulls fans clamoring for the amnesty clause.

Patrick Kane, Blackhawks, $6.3 million - This one is less performance based and more extracurricular based.  Kane hasn't exactly been lighting the lamp as much as most Hawks fans would like after signing his contract extension but it is his off-ice activities that seem to grab bigger headlines.  Kane has had difficulty keeping a low profile when off the ice and has a hard time controlling the young frat boy inside.  His alcohol related incidents have caused headaches for the Blackhawks PR team and upper management.

John Danks, White Sox , $8 million - After signing a five year extension for $65 million dollars Danks lasted only nine games in 2012 before going down with a shoulder injury.  In the nine games he did play, Danks was not very good at all.  A 3-4 record with a 5.70 ERA and 23 walks was bad enough but going down for the season really hurt the Sox who struggled with reliable starting pitching rotation all season.

Devin Hester, $7.6 million - He has not been ridiculous this season.  His contract paid him more like a wide receiver than a return man and through 10 games this season Hester has 18 catches for 203 yards and one touchdown and no punt or kickoff return TD's. Hester was expected to play a big role in the offense with the addition of Brandon Marshall but so far he has been M.I.A. and is owed a staggering $12.8 million in 2013.

And the "winner" is.....

ALFONSO SORIANO

Even with a solid statistical season in 2012 it is typical Soriano that his best season would be when no one was watching.  The fact that he declined a trade to the now World Champion San Francisco Giants because of the weather is all the more reason for Cubs fans to want this contract nightmare to end.

The "Secret Santa" Award for Best Acquired/Re-Signed Player

And the nominees are...

The Bears Trading for Brandon Marshall

The White Sox Re-signing Jake Peavy

The Cubs Acquiring Anthony Rizzo

The Bears Re-signing Matt Forte

And the winner is...

BRANDON MARSHALL

It has to be Brandon Marshall.  The Bears have never had a legit #1 wide receiver until Marshall was traded to the Bears in the off-season and he hasn't disappointed. Through 10 games he has 69 receptions, 925 yards and 8 touchdowns.  He has been the best part of the Bears' offense and the most consistent.

The "Misteltoe" Award for Hottest Chicago Athlete WAG

And the nominees are...

Kristin Cavallari (fiancée of Jay Cutler) - Always a guy favorite and by being engaged to the Bears' QB automatically makes her the future First Wife in Chicago sports royalty.

Kim DeJesus (wife of David DeJesus) - DeJesus may have had a lackluster year at the ballpark but he hit a grand slam in the WAG department.

Amy "Lita" Dumas (girlfriend of CM Punk) - If you want to say pro wrestling isn't a sport then so be it but the Chicago native has the former high flying WWE Diva at his side which definitely helps his claim at being the "Best In The World".

Gabrielle Velasquez (girlfriend of Jonathan Toews) - The two were seen together at a Cubs game over the summer and it's no wonder why the usually private Blackhawks captain made a very public appearance.

*Honorable Mention: Adrianna Lima (wife of Marko Jaric) - Because the Bulls cut Jaric before the season started we never got to enjoy seeing Lima at courtside in the United Center.  It may be that reason alone that had all guys around Chicago openly weeping when the news of Jaric being cut was made official and thus disqualifying her from such a prestigious award.

And the winner is...

KRISTIN CAVALLARI

It's hard to argue with the future queen of Chicago sports royalty!  The future Mrs. Cutler already has a ring on her finger, a newborn baby (and future Bears quarterback) and now can add "First Ever 'Misteltoe' Award winner to her bio.

The "Tapioca Pudding" Award for Worst Moment of 2012

And the nominees are...

Derrick Rose Tearing His ACL

The White Sox Collapsing and Missing the Playoffs

The NHL Lockout

The Cubs' Entire 2012 season

The Bears' Offensive Line Issues

And the "winner" is...

DERRICK ROSE TEARING HIS ACL

Nothing was more heartbreaking then seeing our hometown hero writhe in pain on the floor of the United Center in the first game of the playoffs.  When news came down that it was the worst case scenario every Bulls fan's heart sank just like the team's title hopes.  Rose has yet to return and the try hard Bulls just don't look the same without Rose storming down the court on a fast break and posterizing someone.

The "Drunk Uncle" Award For Most Hated Person In Chicago

And the nominees are...

Carlos Boozer, Bulls - If you have to ask why he is on this list the re-read his part in the "overcooked turkey" category

J'Marcus Webb, Bears - His inability to guard against anyone has Bears' fans wishing for Frank Omiyale to return. Okay, maybe not that drastic but he has been terrible and seems to not care whether he improves or not.  Jay Cutler couldn't get him motivated and Mike Tice is probably pulling whatever remains of his hair out when he sees Webb's game film.

Gary Bettman, NHL Commissioner - He is the most hated commissioner in sports and with company like Bud Selig, David Stern and Rodger Goodell that is saying something.

And the "winner" is...

GARY BETTMAN

This idiot is the poster child of everything wrong with sports and is screwing the city out of Chicago Blackhawks hockey.  Since being in charge of the NHL he has been a part of three labor disputes with the current lockout cancelling games all the way up to December 14th as well as the All Star game.  He is every hockey fan's favorite person to boo and with good reason.  Since the last lockout in 2004 Bettman's salary has somehow doubled to an asinine almost $8 million a year.  How hated is Bettman?  So much so that Blackhawks center Dave Bolland re-tweeted a fan asking for his death.

The "Jive Turkey" Award for Best Athlete

Derrick Rose - His absence is apparent on the Bulls who are missing the heart and soul they usually show when #1 is on the court.  Averaged 21.8 points and 7.8 assists per game last season.

Patrick Sharp - He may have to play his hockey elsewhere currently but he helped the Hawks to a playoff appearance and tallied 33 goals and 36 assists.

Brandon Marshall - He's easily the most talented wide receiver the Bears have ever had and with 8 touchdowns and almost 1,000 yards receiving already he is as good as advertised.

Charles "Peanut" Tillman - Through 10 games he has 48 tackles, 8 pass deflections, 2 interceptions, two returned touchdowns and 7(!) forced fumbles.

Alex Rios, White Sox - Hit .304 with 25 home runs and 91 RBI's in a resurgent season and was the most consistent bat in the everyday lineup.

And the winner is...

CHARLES "PEANUT" TILLMAN

The Peanut Punch has become an overnight catchphrase and at 31, seems to be getting better with age.  He is a leader on defense, a candidate for Defensive Player of the Year, looks to be headed for a back to back appearance in the Pro Bowl and there are still six games remaining in the season.

 

So did I miss anybody?  Any winners you disagree with?  Any awards you want to see handed out next year?  I will try to make a poll available for next year so we can have a fan vote but for now this is the list.  Leave your feedback in the comments section below and have a great holiday!

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    Marc Dykton

    I am the creator of "Ringside Chicago" and "Chicago Sports Addict". I have lived in the south suburbs all of my life. I am a die hard fan of the Bears, Cubs, Bulls, Blackhawks, WWE and FC Barcelona(that's right I like soccer). I attended the University of Indianapolis and graduated with a degree in Communication with a focus in Sports Information. Anything else you want to know? Feel free to ask I am an open book.

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