A Woman Maid Headache

Having a close group of girlfriends is a must in order to get through the ups and downs of dating.  They're there to pick up the pieces when the male species has dumped you out into the street, and they are the first ones to congratulate you when you've found the one who will love you for a lifetime.  But how do you pick and choose who should be a Bridesmaid and who should be elevated to the title of Maid of Honor?  Here are some solutions to sort out your maid madness:

If you...

Just can't choose one

You have too many close girlfriends and you would like them all to be the Maid of Honor.  Don't fret! You can:

1. Make them all Maids of Honor if they truly are all equally as fabulous as one another in your eyes!  Remember, its your wedding and you can do what you want!  You don't always have to stick to tradition, especially if it means hurting friendships over it.

2. Just have bridesmaids.  No maid of honor at all.  I especially encourage you to do this if you don't feel that one sticks out in your mind as as being Maid of Honor worthy.  This way no one will feel better than anyone else and everyone is happy.


Don't have any close girl friends

You have plenty of friends but you never kept up with a close group of girls as the years passed.  No need to beg people to be in your bridal party, use what you got girl.


1. Don't forget about family members!  Often times women automatically think of having friends from work or college is their only option.  But why not ask a close cousin?

2. Close with your Mom?  Ditch the Maid of Honor and have a Matron of Honor!  Take this time to recognize how important your mother is in your life and celebrate your amazing relationship.  She would be ecstatic.

3. Don't have a bridal party at all.  Just take the day to celebrate what it's all about anyways... the two of you.


Have friends that are more important than family

1. Your Bridesmaids and Maid of Honor should be women that you feel will be there for you and support your relationship for years to come.  If that means that your best friend would do a better job than your sister then so be it; make them both your Maids of Honor, or perhaps neither.

2. If you feel your friend deserves it above your sister then you can choose to have your friend as Maid of Honor and your sister as a Bridesmaid.


The bottom line is to remember that tradition is great but if you don't want to follow it than you don't have to!  Feel free to make up your own titles and combinations of rankings for the women close to you.  Do what you want to do and remember that you can always think outside the box for solutions!

Stay tuned for more from Big City Bride




Filed under: Weddings


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  • Hi Susan,
    I really like your blog! I'm a bride to be (and trying not to be a bridezilla...not always easy) and decided not to have any adult bridesmaids. My 10yo niece is my maid of honor. My fiancee's 7yo nephew is his best man. And, the 4yo nieces are the flower girls.

    This way, my friends, cousins and sisters in law can wear whatever they want, there is minimal drama and there is a focus on the kids, who make us all smile.

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