Losing My Temper

Losing My Temper

I am normally an easy going guy but going through what I have this past year saw me losing my temper regularly. My right arm was stuck so many times for Blood Samples that I had a permanent bubble where they kept sticking me. But what are you going to do when that is the only place where a vein was suitable? Still every needle prick had me cursing.

The hospital personnel were more than understanding though and they let me vent.

Besides they realized that I had had no less than five procedures to get my cardiac issues in order. As my longtime cardiologist said "we need to take care what can kill you right now first" and then we will move on to that thyroid problem.

It didn't matter though because by the fourth procedure not only did I lose my temper again but had now broken down in tears. And not only did I break down in front of my cardiologist (who I consider both a friend and my doctor) but my son as I felt the world collapsing around me.

Not only was my health in the shitter (even though my doctor said "hey man you are improving") but we had put our family dog down due to her cancer having spread and it was my boy and his mother who had to do what was my responsibility because I was to weak and run down to do so as I kissed my dog for the last time and whispered her a promise that we would see each other again one day at the Rainbow Bridge.

So it wasn't so much losing my temper - it was oh so much more than that!

Still my medical team (and family) kept bringing me back to reality and there was work to done and losing my temper was not going to change a damn thing either with my health issues or bringing my dog "Abbey" back. It was then I had accepted what was happening in my life.

I did exactly what my specialists asked of me and despite the constant back and forth trips to Maywood (or any the other Loyola Medical Center satellite locations) I did them without anger or complaint. And it felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off my back.

The doctors did their tests and medicine tweaking and I did what they told me to do.

Thankfully we are in the last laps of this strange race and my thyroid will be removed shortly after wreaking havoc with my health and sapping whatever energy I had away from me.

Funny how things happen in life but I learned that losing your temper wasn't going to help me when battling illness or (sadness). I needed to keep positive and let my specialists figure out what was the best course of action for me. In the meantime I have made my peace wherever and whenever I could and have put my faith into the hands of God and my surgeons.

In the meantime I will remain positive and should something go wrong, well my old dog Abbey is waiting for me at the foot of the Rainbow Bridge.

 

 

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