Chicago Sports Rapture: Who is saved, and who is sent to the "lake of fire" (also known as "Milwaukee")

Happy Rature, everyone!

Rumor has it, around 6:00PM, the end of the world is scheduled to begin.  During this period, God will begin judging the human race and sending them to their appropriate place.  Like a club bouncer with small genitalia, God will supposedly destroy heaven and Earth, because they have become polluted by sin, and create a new heaven and Earth which will be inhabited solely by "the chosen ones".
How does this play out for some of our favorite and best-known Chicago athletes?  Who has the right to live-on in the kingdom of Chicago Sports, and who must be banished to Hell (Milwaukee)?  Well, I knew you'd ask, and that's why I've done the legwork for you -- and The Big Guy.

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