So, someone seriously dropped a deuce in the Cubs dugout during Dusty Baker's reign as Cubs' skipper? I've read the article at least ten times and I still can't figure out whether the story is true, or if I'm simply that out of touch with modern lingo.
Cubs Get Crapped On -- Any Surprise?
For a moment I was wondering if I had reached the age where a younger, more hip generation had me thoroughly confused -- sort of like the way senior citizens surely scratched their heads when Michael Jackson released an album entitled "Bad".
Nevertheless, the concept of someone repetitively releasing their bowels in the home dugout of the "Friendly Confines" should serve as a fairly accurate summary of the quality of Cubs teams that have taken the field over the past decade. Of course there has, and probably never will be, a face to go with the act -- let alone the face of a Cubs player -- but the fact that someone with continual access to the Cubs' dugout had numerous opportunities to plant a steamer smack-dab in the middle of the Cubs' bench should serve as a significant endorsement to the quality and professionalism that exists within the organization.
As sport media has evolved, and the public gains deeper access to the inner workings of professional sports, organizations as a whole have found their way under the microscope more so than ever. Throughout the recent NFL Playoffs, we heard numerous times just how "professional" and "well run" the Green Bay Packers organization was. Likewise, we heard about the Pittsburgh Steelers and New England Patriots.
In the NBA, the San Antonio Spurs have been the talk of the 2010-11 season, with their organization and head coach, Gregg Popovich, often heralded for the machine-like manner in which they operate. Words like "longevity", "respect", "professionalism", and "class" tend to be the most commonly used descriptions.
In Chicago, we don't hear too much about the quality of our sports franchises. Most of the time, we are left to figure out why poor decisions are made by our teams and why seemingly brilliant ones are conceived by our closest rivals.
While the Bears were panicking on the free agent market, the Packers were solidifying their would-be Super Bowl Champion team and getting the most out of a core of young, quality-focused players.
While the Bulls' coaches were duking it out with Bulls' front office, and the Miami Heat were throwing massive celebrations to welcome their "three kings", the San Antonio Spurs were simply doing what they do best -- improving. The Spurs may be as exciting to watch as paint drying, but there is no denying the success they've had over the past decade or so.
And now, we found out the most ludicrous fact in recent Chicago sports memory. While the Cardinals were winning a division, pennant, and a World Series, the Cubs were literally defecating on themselves.
Baker's story is funny. I'm not really sure how the notion of someone taking a crap in what is essentially someone else's office could not be funny. But in the same regard, it is sad.
Stories like these tend to be fairly common with the same franchises throughout sports. In the NFL, each season seemingly brings something absurd to surround the Cincinnati Bengals.
In the NBA, the Clippers are the perennial butt of all jokes, with the Knicks picking up any slack that may have been left behind -- evidently there was much left on the table over the past decade.
And now, in case you had any doubts, Baker's story about a rogue pooper should solidify the idea that the Cubs are indeed the laughing stock of Major League Baseball.
I'm sure Albert Pujols is really chomping at the bit to become a Chicago Cub.