My Worst Fears Never Came True

You think of grade school as a carefree time, but no matter what stage of life we are in, it seems we find things that seem really stressful at the time, but then later we realize we didn't really have anything to worry about.

In grade school, I used to worry a lot about missing the bus.  I attended a school which was a considerable distance from my home, so I wasn't left with too many options if I missed the bus.  I didn't just worry about missing my morning pick-up; I was also afraid that if I took too long gathering my stuff at the end of the day, I'd miss my ride home. Teachers occasionally told us that if we took too long getting to the bus, we'd be left behind.  I remember running out of school at the end of the day to see a bus leaving, only to discover, thankfully, that it wasn't mine.  I still have dreams about being left at school to this day.  In fact, I just had a recurrence of this nightmare about a week age.

When I was in high school, I stressed about not having dates for dances.  I went to an all-girls Catholic high school, so it wasn't like I could just walk up to a guy in the hall and ask.  We had to be more proactive about finding dates than co-eds did.

I also worried about getting into college.  We were warned many times that we shouldn't just apply to the schools we most wanted to get into.  We should also have some "safety schools" lined up so we would have somewhere to go if we didn't get into our first choice.  I was so worried about it that I applied to 11 schools, just to have all my bases covered.  I thought I'd need a scholarship just to cover the college application fees!

In college, I always had this weird fear that I would get behind in a class and not know it, or that I'd forget the schedule and have no way to double-check it.  I also feared that I'd get the times mixed up for final exams, and I'd miss then altogether.  I think I had this fear in high school, too.  I occasionally have dreams about missing an exam or forgetting to study until the night before.

Later, I wondered if I'd be single forever.  When I moved to the South, there seemed to be more pressure to be married by a certain age.  People tend to marry younger, too.  I actually had some one refer to me as an old maid when I was 28 and still single.  It really stressed me out.  I met my husband 7 years before we were married, but we were in our early thirties when we actually tied the knot.  Some people assumed that, since we were so "old" we must have been married at least once before.  No, this is the first time for both of us.

I'm glad all that craziness is behind me.

Filed under: Miscellaneous

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