Two Poems by Marc Wilkinson

Those Nights

What time is it? Wait, wait, donʼt tell me.
I donʼt want to know, Because I canʼt let you go.

Slushy city streets,
in your lobby we will meet.
In hand-knit scarves, take to our feet. Or to busses, or to trains.
And maybe someday, even planes

A pull. A push. A tug. A bite.

I struggle to remember just what happened on those nights.

Adventure, somewhere out there,
in the theater, on the pier,
To the secrets that we swore weʼd keep, Chicago nights I still hold dear

Too few, too far, but not too mean, Tear me apart, Iʼll stitch your seams You sleep on me, and still it seems youʼre in my sheets, you haunt my dreams.

I want you back inside my bed,
your hand in mine, your heart, your head. Will you ever scream my name?
Will I ever bleed again?

To remember makes me hollow, all these memories come up sad. You were all I ever longed for, The best friend I ever had. But I have nothing to left offer, my presence now a ghost.

We survive on these sarcastic quips, Notes digitized in phones.
Iʼm missing all my focus marks, Iʼm missing kissing you.
The camera blurs the memory,
I know you feel it too.

I pulled away,

I cut the take. It was my choice, my own mistake.

But now what am I to do... When all I want is you?

 

Sleepless

Chasing buses through a damp Chicago haze. Salty sidewalk singing, I avoid your emerald gaze.
A summersaulting city, flickering to light with amber light... for just tonight.

Stage play romance and soliloquies in C,
your pulse is pounding with my hand sliding up your knee. Fogged train windows, with finger prints we leave our hearts behind... Where is my mind?

Iʼll never sleep again
ʻtill you stop calling me your friend, we chose to leave this town behind and build ourselves a better life.

Frozen tidal waves consume the Lake Shore Drive
An impressionistic portrait,
memories Iʼve tried to leave behind.
Crowded busses, all these strangers never know what we wonʼt tell... Take them to hell.

Shaking polaroids with drunk unsteady hands,
tabletop dancing to imaginary bands.
These celebrations never feel the same as nights alone with you... The hell am I to do?

Iʼll never sleep again
till you stop calling me your friend, we chose to leave this town behind and build ourselves a better life.
I can taste fear in your breath as I steal it from your lips,
Iʼm going to break your heart in two to prove to me, to prove to you That I know just what love is -- that love exists,
and this isnʼt it.

But what the hell do I know? Oh lover, what do I know?
Iʼd tell a lie to save you,
Iʼd save you just to save myself. What the hell do I know?
My darling, what do I know?
Iʼd break a heart to save you,
Iʼd break your heart to save myself.

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