Boom! It’s 2013 and we’re all still here! F*ck you Mayans, that’s the last time I listen to your mystical gibberish. I’m only listening to Inca folklore henceforth.
As we all sit on our asses New Years Day recouping from our hangovers with resolutions of going to the gym and quitting smoking (which we all know will sputter out around St. Patrick’s Day) cinephiles like me look forward to the amazing movies that are set to debut in 2013.
Hollywood came to play this year by crunching out: Iron Man 3, the Great Gatsby, The Lone Ranger, Star Trek: Into Darkness, Man of Steel, After Earth, Monster’s University, The Wolverine and many more. There’s no doubt that all of these films will be box office hits and anyone who owns anything less than a blu-ray player when the DVD’s are released will be shunned from society. As tickled as I am about these movies (especially the new Star Trek, eeeeek!) the Sundance Film Festival is approaching and we must also remember 2013 promises an amaze-balls year for indie films. Here is my top ten, in no particular order, of the most promising indie films of 2013. Hooray!
1.) Sound City- Dave Grohl makes his directorial debut in this documentary about the legendary Sound City recording studio in Los Angeles. This epic studio has featured artists from Elton John to Weezer. With loads of behind the scenes footage and artist interviews, music lovers are sure to be hot and bothered. Also, it’s Dave Grohl, so c’mon people.
2.) A.C.O.D. - Abbreviation for Adult Children of Divorce, Adam Scott (Parks and Recreation) stars in this comedy about a man coping with the friction of his parents fifteen year divorce. Fellow Parks and Recreation star Amy Poehler is included in the cast as well as Jane Lynch (Glee) and Katherine O’Hara (Beetlejuice). These are some of the funniest bitches of all time. I’m so excited I could shit.
3.) Two Mothers- Naomi Watts (King Kong) and Robin Wright (Forrest Gump) star in this drama about two friends/neighbors who fall in love with each others smokin’ hot sons. DRAMA! For the horn-ball in all of us there’s sure to be some steamy sex scenes. Nice.
4.) Don Jon’s Addiction-Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Looper), the prince of independent cinema, stars in this comedy about a womanizer and porn addict who is on a quest to be a better person. Levitt not only wrote this film, but it’s also his directorial debut. Who knew the skinny, long-haired weenus from 3rd Rock from the Sun was so deep. Speaking of which, I think French Stewart was my “sandwich artist” at Jimmy Johns the other day.
5.) Kill Your Darlings- I’m constantly intrigued by the cast of Harry Potter moving on with their careers. When I read about Daniel Radcliff playing Allen Ginsberg in this 1940 beat-era film, I already knew I was going to see it. The details of this movie are a little vague but apparently there’s a murder which brings Ginsberg, Jack Kerouac and William Burroughs together. I’m embarrassed to say that although I’ve heard of these people, I’ve never read their material. Don’t judge me.
6.) Emanuel and the Truth about Fishes- Kaya Scoledario (Wuthering Heights) plays Emanuel, a young woman who is obsessed with her neighbor Linda, who looks just like her deceased mother. This movie looks bonkers and slightly sad, but I am intrigued. Jessica Biel plays Linda; let’s see how she fairs in the indie world (even if she nails it, I still want to hit her for being Mrs. Justin Timberlake).
7.) Afternoon Delight- Katherine Hahn (Girls) and Juno Temple (Killer Joe) seem to be popping up in everything these days and there are no complaints here. Rachel (Hahn) has a successful husband, a beautiful child and a wonderful wardrobe. Despite her successes she still feels something’s missing. She ventures into a strip club with her husband in an attempt to spice up their sex life and meets a stripper named McKenna. The two women end up bonding and Rachel ends up adopting her and making McKenna her child’s nanny. It received accolades from a blogger for the Sundance website for brilliant comedic writing and acting. After seeing Temple in Killer Joe, I will watch any project she’s a part of.
8.) Thank You- An animated short film about a snow golem who finds a baby fire wolf and has to reunite it with his family. It looks neat and I enjoy cartoons. I know, I’m a goober.
9.) After Tiller- Directors Martha Shane and Lana Wilson explore the complex world of the only four remaining third-trimester abortion doctors left in the country in this powerful documentary. With the abortion topic still being as sensitive as a pubescent teen who didn’t get asked to prom, it’s bound to piss some people off. Controversy is always fun!
And last, but certainly not least…
10.) Bitch Grenade and Sidecar: Passport to Justice- This epic adventure takes you to Dubai where my friend Erin (Sidecar) and I (Bitch Grenade) travel to Dubai to seek the villain Sha-Harma Blaze, who is trying to steal my identity and America’s toilet paper supply. December 2013. Shit’s getting real.
Well 2012, its been a slice. I look forward to watching and writing about these independent wonders in the near future. I wish all of you a healthy and fantastical 2013!
For more detailed information about the films listed (except number ten, we decided to go rogue) and all the films being screened at Sundance, visit http://www.sundance.org/festival/