Mourn The Way You Need to Mourn

I just sent this to a dear friend who just lost her Grandpa. I sent it because I imagine there may be people who tell her, "But he lived a long life...", which I always take to mean, "It's not as bad of a loss. It's a more profound loss if the person were young."


"Mourn the way you need to mourn. You're not on anyone else's time table (even your parents' time table). Mourning is a very personal thing, I believe. When my grandpa died, I knew it was a deep wound for me that only God could heal. And God somehow does strengthen you instantaneously and also over time. And yet there are still the random moments where your heart is somehow seized from inside of your chest. Like last week when I went to my local supermarket (which I rarely do--because I tend to go to markets in different parts of town) and I passed the doughnut aisle and it's like my breathing just stopped. Because it was Grandpa. This was our local market and he was a Doughnut Man and that memory just smacked me all at once--without me having anticipated it. So--I say that all to say--the pain will lessen and it will resurface and it will ebb and flow and that's the way it is. And don't ever feel like you should be "over it" at some point. Like I always say, the longer a person lives, the more time you have to fall in love with him.

So you've had a lifetime to be in love with this man--and a lifetime to remember that love."

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