It has been eight long months since the last time I saw her...
This time last year, ChicagoNow and I were having a wonderful relationship. We were inseparable. I remember I used to take her to the park on my iPhone, or spend a day with her at the beach, or stroll down Michigan Ave. on a crisp winter day holding each other tight. Most of all, I remember those passionate nights we spent together in bed, under the sheets, with my laptop as the only source of light. I loved it when she used to yell out my name when I said something dirty or witty. Sometimes she got angry after I did something stupid, then we would have unrelenting make-up sex for several days. I admit, I said some stupid things on purpose. Life was good my friends, life was real good.
But then I started to get cocky knowing I had this great looking girlfriend who would always take me back no matter what I said or how I behaved. Unfortunately, I did what a lot of cocky douchebag boyfriends do to a great girl, I cheated on her.
At first, I cheated on ChicagoNow with a young and attractive local girl called Chicago Redeye. She was good and she was easy...real easy. Redeye let me read her and write comments all over her using another name, and she liked it. She let me do it practically at will. She particularly liked when we did it late at night and when I was hammed-up wasted. She liked it so much she asked if I could do it faster, harder, and more often. But no floozy can keep me tied down without payment, so I had to drop that ho quick.
Then I hooked up with a gorgeous MILF. Her name was Chicago Tribune. She was old, but had a great face and a body that younger floozies would envy. At first, she acted like she wasn't having it. But all I had to do was whisper in her ear how beautiful she still is after all these years. After that, we started exchanging sexual banter over lunch. Next thing I knew, Tribune and I were doing it in taxis, on buses, on the Metra, and in front of the Sun-Times building. For some reason she and I loved to get together in public. Unfortunately, I knew our torrid affair couldn't last long.
After I ended things with Tribune, ChicagoNow still thought I was true to her. However, I think ChicagoNow knew deep down something was wrong. My cheating got worse. I started experimenting. I messed around with Out Magazine. He was young, good-looking, and very gay. Out Magazine liked to tell me interesting facts, like once he told me, "there are four times as many bottoms in Chicago than tops." I didn't really know what he was talking about most of the time, but hey, he was good to look at. Then I had a one-night stand with Al-Jazeera. She was somebody all my friends told me in the past to avoid, so of course, I just had to try her when she gave me an opening. I remember she talked bad about America and democracy when we were in bed together. I was going to comment against her views, but something about her figure just hypnotized me. It was a wild and passionate night. As we were having unruly sex, I though to myself maybe Al-Jazeera and I could work, but alas, it would have been a long-distance relationship. I left before she could find out who I was.
Subsequent to my carnal experiences with Out Magazine and Al-Jazeera, I was left discombobulated and confused. I stayed away from all technology floozies. I only used my cell strictly for telephone calls, and I stopped using my laptop all together. Then last week, after President Obama was reelected, I pressed the Safari icon on my iPhone and for the first time in a long time I held ChicagoNow in my hand. At that moment, I knew how far I truly strayed. At that moment, I knew I was truly in love.....hope she'll take me back.