You may not know the exact date of our moon landing, but you probably know that we were up there.
You're also keenly aware that Barack Obama is no longer president and hasn't been for almost three years. You may even cry yourself to sleep just thinking about that very fact.
I only bring this up because there seems to be some who walk among us that are oblivious to those facts. Many of them gather in large numbers at Trump rallies.
Last month in Louisiana, Little Donnie got big cheers for his proclamation that he was going to defeat Socialism and put a man on the face of the moon.
If by defeating Socialism he meant that he was going to end Social Security and Medicare, even the Dumpsters may have a problem with that, but Socialism is not going to be on the ballot come 2020.
He may also be surprised to find out that Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin strolled the surface of the moon for three hours back in 1969.
What Dumpsters can't seem to wrap their heads around though, is the fact that Barack Obama is no longer president. It's an incredible irony that they love President Bone Spurs, but can't get the image of President Black Guy out of their minds.
Donnie can't babble for more than ten minutes without throwing some kind of shade on his predecessor and Dumpsters are no different.
Which brings us to Jimmy.
Random events led me to a far north suburb of Chicago and Jimmy's basement gun shop. I went there to pick up a novelty firearm, something we'll get to in a minute.
Most gun dealers (FFL) are Dumpsters. Not all of them are assholes.
I've used other FFL's for transactions and it was generally pleasant and non-confrontational.
The last one I used ran on the GOP ticket for a Lake County job, which may have led him to give up his FFL license. He was a nice guy.
So there I was, in need of a transfer agent for a firearm I bought online, which is where I found Jimmy's website.
Once in his basement, Jimmy brought up the economy and how it was booming because of Barack Hussein Obama.
One look told me that whatever that guy thinks he knows about the economy is what he heard on Fox "News."
The thing is, you know where they're going when anyone includes the Hussein part of President Obama's name.
I had never had any conversations with Jimmy, much less any political discussions. He either pegged me for a pinko, liberal, progressive Democrat or he found my blog. Whichever, he was clearly baiting me.
I found myself biting my tongue as I listened to his Trump-esque rambling.
At one point he said he was a millennial (if anything, he was an aging boomer) and that he could be anything he wanted (including a girl) because of something Barack Hussein Obama did.
Again with the middle name. I wound up giving the guy an extra ten bucks just to get the hell out of there.
Several paragraphs ago I mentioned a novelty firearm, which Jimmy didn't know how to classify for his records (he did it wrong).
When I got home, I found the exact legal classification of the firearm from the manufacturer and emailed it to Jimmy, as a courtesy. This was his reply:
What the heck...I thought I was reading a transcript from one of obamas crafted speeches...I hope he runs again in 2020 and names Michael (his wife) as his running mate for vp...!
Quite the non sequitur, to say the least. Maybe deep down, they miss him as much as we do.
Subscribe to the Chicago Board of Tirade
* You will never get SPAM
* Your email address will never be sold or given away
* You will only receive emails on days I post.
* You can unsubscribe at any time
* You can contact me anytime at: RJ@bobabrams.net
* Just type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button.