The disappearance of Malaysia Flight 370 is, at this writing a mystery. What Vladimir Putin might or might not do next is also a mystery, but theories and wild speculation abound on both subjects.
What's more of a paradox than a mystery is what these two seemingly unrelated events have in common.
The first thing the disappearance of Flight 370 and the "Crisis in Ukraine" have in common-and these are in no particular order-I like to file under the heading, "Stupid things idiots say".
Inexplicably and beyond all measure of reason, these two events, both on the other side of the world and beyond almost anyone's control or sphere of influence were either caused by or exacerbated by Barack Obama, President of the United States.
I know, but consider former U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations, John Bolton's reasoning: The missing Malaysian plane, a Boeing 777 was made by an American company. He didn't mention that most of the plane's components were probably made in China.
Bolton thinks the President has been remiss in his duty to find that plane.
Prodded on by one of FOX's interchangeable blonde news anchors, Bolton continued that the leader of the free world is somehow obligated (to Boeing? to God? to the Founding Fathers, who would be astounded that you have to BUY food on a Triple 7?) to disregard international protocol and take charge of the search for the missing aircraft.
I'm guessing that neither Mr. Bolton nor his interviewer were aware that Malaysia Airlines is actually owned and operated by the Malaysian government.
According to Ms. Blonde FOX News, only America has the resources to get to the bottom of the missing plane mystery. I believe it was the same Ms. Blonde FOX News-although, it could have been one of the others-who said that Obama was trying to destroy the number one health care system in the world.
I'm sure no one told her that our health care system would only be number one if the 46 countries ranked higher than America in health care suddenly vanished.
As for the "Crisis in Ukraine"-which is mainly a crisis for the Ukrainians-it's perfectly reasonable to extrapolate that Putin would never have dared try to reclaim his baby if only President Obama wore tighter jeans. That from the former half-governor of Alaska.
Mitch McConnell has a slightly different take on Putin's incursion into Crimea. He's convinced that Putin was emboldened by the fact that we've been unable to identify, much less capture the perpetrators of the attack on our consulate in Benghazi.
WTF? It's always Benghazi. Master Blaster (Cheney-Bush) was unable in 7-1/2 years to capture one lone terrorist, whose identity-and sometimes location-was well known to the rest of the world.
Don't get me started.
Secondly, I'd like to point out that the 24-hr news cycle on cable news needs more Kevin Trudeau infomercials, althought he may be unavailable for the next 10 years. His new gig may include hawking virtual hack saws to the incarcerated Aryan Nation.
The FCC needs to put in place a rule that repeating anything more than 12 hours old can not be called "Breaking News". OK, we'll make it 24 hours. If your news people are repeating the same thing every 15 minutes for 24 hours, it's barely news, let alone "Breakin News".
Since the beginning of the month, when things in Ukraine started falling apart and Putin began batting his eyelashes at Crimea, America has been bombarded with images of a place that few of them knew existed.
Maps of the area, which most people found confusing at best, but mostly incomprehensible and pictures of Putin in various poses of machismo were plastered on the news channels 24 hours a day. The pundits droned on monotonously as to what Putin may or may not do.
At least there were some slight changes in the situation from day to day, so the news wasn't always the same. It was just almost always the same.
The news on the missing jetliner, though has mostly been the same. Last Thursday, flipping back and forth I noticed that the same image from a Chinese satellite was on CNN for almost two hours. One piece of wreckage was 72 feet by 79 feet, which Wolf Blitzer opined ad nauseum might be one of the missing aircraft's wings.
It wasn't even a video, it was just a satellite picture and we had to keep staring at it or turn off CNN. I did both. The thing is, it looked nothing like a wing. In any case, it was never found.
For the last two weeks, the breaking news about the missing 777 is that it's still missing. Most of the “new” information released during this time has proven ambiguous, at best, but mostly useless.
For the record, I recently deleted some files from my computer, just to free up space.
As I write this, an Australian satellite image from somewhere in the Indian Ocean about 1,500 miles south of Perth is our latest suspected debris field. It would probably be good if it turned out that it was the wreckage of Flight 370 so the families could get some closure.
Then, again, I've never found closure all that it's cracked up to be.
The theory I like best is that Vladimir Putin paid those Malaysian pilots to steal their plane just to take the heat off of him. If that turns out to be true, you gotta give that guy some credit. Maybe he's not just a bare-chested dictator, after all.
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