Winning the lottery and other myths and misconceptions: Part 3

Misinformation has a way of perpetuating itself, which was easily understandable in pre-internet, pre-24-hour-news cycle times. Now, not so much. The fact that anything and everything can be verified or disproved in 30 seconds is a tribute to the de-evolution of human integrity.

Some stuff is just too insignificant to explore. Some stuff is of little or no interest to most people. We refer to bossy, short people as having a "Napoleon Complex". Napoleon was actually tall for a Frenchie of his time, 5 feet 7 inches, not 5 feet 2 inches as recorded in some places. Let's file that one under "Little Known Facts".

JFK never said that he was a donut, George Washington didn't have wooden teeth, Albert Einstein didn't fail math and Mister Rogers was never in the armed forces. If you ever believed any of these things, I apologize. If you've never heard any of any of them or still believe them to be accurate, the internet is at your fingertips, which I assume you know how to use because you are reading this.

If you think that a half century ago a single mother cleverly gave her newborn son a Muslim name and forged his birth records so that he could one day become president of the United States, no amount of reality is likely to infiltrate your bubble, which most likely includes magical beings with an assortment of improbable super powers.

In many cases, we believe what what we need to believe to make our lives bearable, to justify our preconceived notions to salve our own guilt or rationalize our shortcomings. Often, it's easier to assign blame than to accept it. If you're a bad skier, it's probably your boots or your skis. Or too much snow or not enough. You can try to convince yourself and others that the physical laws of nature don't apply to you (skiing is mostly about gravity and inertia) I can pretty much guarantee that if you finish your turns looking up the hill, you will lose control and fall. Do it enough and you will twist your knee. Goodbye ACL.

If you find yourself struggling with your motorcycle on freeway off ramps, you probably don't know how to turn. When you're circling around in a tight right turn, your right hand should be pushing forward on the handlebar. It's called counter-steering. You should be able to remove your left hand from the grip and wave. If you're trying to force your bike around a right turn with your left hand, you probably shouldn't start any long books.

The same is true of our food choices, exercise routines (or lack thereof), alcohol consumption, smoking and drug use. I sometimes wonder which is more important to humans, opposable thumbs or the ability to rationalize.

If you suck at sex....bad choice of words. If you're a crappy lover, you can just complain to your friends (and strange women in bars) that your wife is frigid. If couldn't possibly be your clumsy efforts turned her off to sex. Note to single women: If as many women were frigid as their husbands claim, there would only be about a million people on Earth. Know what I mean?

A "healthful" vodka, drank in copious amounts is probably good for your liver. And brain cells. Just like Larry David thought there was a "good" kind of Lymphoma. Not a Curb Your Enthusiasm fan? Really?

Exercise is an easy one to rationalize, because some exercise is always better than none. It's when you get to the point of just going to the club for a steam that you've got to take a good, hard look in the mirror. I can tell you from personal experience that the older you get, the harder that look in the mirror becomes.

Truth, apparently has lost its value. Holding onto the little lies we tell ourselves is like a juggling act. The more lies, the more balls in the air. If we stop to check out someone else's balls (was that a bad metaphor or just another bad choice of words?) ours may all come crashing down to the ground. It's a good thing that love is blind. If you're lucky, it's deaf and dumb, as well.

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  • Nice entyr, nice blog name. Larry David is totally a donut by the way.

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