Raise your hand if you were at all surprised by the wanton display of half-assery we were all subjected to on Monday night. Yes, you, back in the corner? Ah, just stretching; that's better. I almost feel dirty admitting it, but it's gotten to the point where I actually hope for the Bears to lose in as embarrassing a fashion as possible, if only to hasten the still-not-inevitable razing of the team as it's currently constructed.
The once-hallowed halls of Halas Hall are no longer sacred, the memories and ghosts of a proud franchise having given way to a cadre of clowns that have covered the place in TP and silly string. How else do you explain the retention of an assistant coach who leaked information about the team's regrets over Jay Cutler's play? Any other team would have cut the offender loose in a heartbeat, seeing no use for a man who's lost the trust of his team.
One would think that would be doubly true of a team for which an offensive mind is supposed to be a redundancy, though we've quickly learned that it may be a dearth. Though it's a franchise known for strong leaders, this recent iteration of Chicago football looks more like the blind leading the blind while being directed via sign language by the deaf.
And if Jay Cutler's postgame interview was any indication, we can throw the mute in there too.
This from someone who has stood in defense of the punk QB like Kevin Bacon telling everyone to "remain calm, all is well." No, Evan, all is not well along the shores of Lake Michigan and it's not getting any better either. There's a nefarious infection that has taken root in this Bears team and no amount of antibiotics can clean it up at this point.
It would be much easier it we could go straight to the source, as, just like toxic fish pulled from the nearby waters, this thing is clearly rotting from the head down. Trouble is, you can't fire ownership and the McCaskey's aren't ceding their majority share of the team anytime soon. And who can blame them? Even the most heartless and dysfunctional group they toss out there is a veritable cash cow.
CSN Chicago's David Kaplan called for the Bears to limit Ted Phillips' focus to the business side of things by relieving him of his football duties. For what it's worth, the giggly juvenile in me would really like to make a bowel movement joke. Maybe that's fitting though, since the product the Bears have given us this season is really only good for fertilizing the Soldier Field sod.
From Da Bears to "duh, Bears," the diminution of this proud organization has been clear to many for quite some time now. As if to prove that with some sort of real-life metaphor, the Bears ran a fake punt on fourth down last night and came up a full yard short. Then they were flagged for illegal procedure for having only 10 men on the field. I guess if you're going to fail, you might as well use being undermanned as an excuse.
Then again, I'm reasonably sure that playing with either 12 or 13 men would yield the same woeful results.
Last year, I was calling for Mel Tucker's head, believing that he was in over it in trying to adjust from his beloved 3-4 scheme to whatever hybrid model it is the Bears have been trying to run. I think it's now quite evident that special teams coach Joe DiCamillis needs to be shown the door as well.
Likewise, Marc Trestman has proven to me that he is not a leader of men. Perhaps given a situation in which he's responsible for only one small facet of the offense, or in which he's dealing primarily with Canadians, Trestman could excel. But his apparent lack of fire and inability to command either respect or consistent effort has shown me that hiring him was a mistake.
It's time to clean house at Halas Hall, and I mean everyone in a position of authority. Is that a monumental effort that will probably take years to recover from? Yes, but I dooooon't caaaare. Replacing one or two parts here and there in an aging lemon of a car is going to cost you far more in the long run than junking the thing and getting a new car.
And it's not as if they're not aware of what happens when an organization is run properly. The Bears need look no further for a template than their green and gold-clad rivals to the north. The Packers' continuity, both in the front office, the coaching staff, and the roster, is the envy of the NFL and something to which the Bears should aspire.
Bears fans can still take some measure of joy in the Packers' recent loss at the hands of the Buffalo Bills (who, at 4-0 this year, are the real NFC North champs) and in their incessant posting of derogatory social media memes, but the folks in Green Bay will brush it aside and simply move on to the playoffs...again.
I'm getting sick of saying this, but heads need to roll in Chicago in order for this thing to move forward. And if that means blowing the whole thing up and starting from scratch under the burden of dead money from Jay Cutler's contract, so be it. As it stands, this team looks worse than a thoroughbred limping around on a broken foreleg; euthanasia may be the only option. Paging Dr. Kevorkian.
Or perhaps you prefer the public display of the Fatal Flying Guillotine. Whatever the method, the decisions and actions must be swift and they must be stern. Nothing can be done to un-watch this woeful season, but the Bears can take measures to ensure that nothing like this happens again. How many times has someone said that since '85?
I'll leave you with one final image that I believe sums up both the season itself and the go-forward strategy for this team:
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