I'm going to just say this. Whoever decided that miniature children's shopping carts and children's shopping carts disguised as race cars were a fucking great idea needs a punch in the mouth. They clearly did not have the best interest of the children nor the parents in mind.
Especially the parents.
What ever do you mean, you ask.
There are literally maybe 10 of these race car shopping carts in the entire store. Now tell me, do ya think that there are more than 10 poor parents grocery shopping with their hoodlums at one time on any given Sunday?
You bet your ass.
There is definitely not one for every family. Not a red one, a blue one, a yellow one, or damn pink one. What there is enough of is the shit show that occurs when your child is stuck with the late model black one or silver one with a red handle. You know, "the cart".
To make up for the above mentioned shit show, you decided to give them their own cart. A cart just big enough for them to push around and feel important. Because, you enjoy pain and suffering and so do the legs and ankles of every poor soul in the produce aisle.
See, have you ever got stuck with that one cart with the bad wheel? The wheel that sticks or turns in the opposite direction? The one you curse at your entire shopping experience? Well my friends, on these masterpieces created for children all the wheels are fucked up.
So your toddler who trips over air is now in control of a lethal weapon. They slide in every direction. There is no straight. There is no walk nice. It's just a cluster fuck from the word go.
So to the person who invented children's shopping carts, I say thank you. Thank you for the thought. You had our best intentions in mind and when the stars line up and our child can actually get one of these race car carts, life is good.
For a moment.
That is until we pass by another child driving the color he really wanted.
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