I hate bubbles

I hate bubbles

I will say it over and over. I will scream it at the top of my lungs. I hate bubbles!

I know, I'm the meanest person ever. A Debbie Downer. The Joan Crawford of bubbles.

Bubbles. They seem innocent enough. What kid doesn't love them?

This kid!

As in me. The mom. The mom who hates bubbles.

It started innocently enough. Bubbles in the Easter basket. Every kid gets Bubbles for Easter.

Damn rabbit.

Bubbles. The best idea for two minutes until it's the worst idea ever.

"Let's show him how cool bubbles are."

"This should give us 10 minutes of peace."

"How cute is he chasing them around!"

Yeah, whatever.

Bubbles are the devil.

Every day since the introduction of bubbles has been a living hell.

Bubble juice all over the driveway. All over the picnic table. All over my son. All over me.

Crying. Tantrums. Because he can't do it himself.

Bubble juice in his mouth. Up his nose. Up my nose. How? Because if he can't blow them he's going to shove the bubble wand in my face to do it for him.

Bubble wands stuck to his face. My face. In his hair. In my hair.

Bottles of bubbles gone in 60 seconds. Puddles of soapy slime quickly played in and applied as hair gel or a tasty
Hors d'oeuvre.

So we bought a bubble machine. A Little Tikes leaf blower. It will be easier. Mom fills it. Kid pushes a button. All is right in the world.

Wrong.

Bubble juice all over the driveway. All over the picnic table. All over my son. All over me.

Instead of pointing it up and out, he drags and points it down. You know what happens?

Spillage.

Guess where?

Every freakin' where.

Bubble juice all over the driveway. All over the picnic table. All over my son. All over me.

For the life of me I cannot figure out how bubbles are the number one selling toy. Are there seriously that many parents out there that enjoy pure torture? When they are bored do they throw in Play-doh and sidewalk chalk for kicks? Because that shit is just as messed up.

Bubbles.....driving parents to drink since the seventeenth century.

What's your child's worst toy ever?

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