I think at some point every parent has a moment. A moment where complete and utter panic sets in. The moment when every bad thing that could go wrong runs through your head. The moment you lose your child.
In. Your. Own. House.
How can that be? It starts with leaving the little shit unattended for 3 minutes. There he sits on his Mickey Mouse couch watching an Elmo DVD. Quiet as a mouse. Daddy Mayhem yells from the backyard to give him a hand that will only take "2 seconds". What's the harm? He's so enthralled in the video he won't notice I'm gone. Doors to the bathroom and bedrooms are closed, he's baby gated in like a puppy in a crate. We are golden.
Upon returning , my child is missing. Baby gate is open. How can this be??? The particular gate that leads to the dining room, that leads to the kitchen, that leads to the hall, that leads to 15 cement steps to the fucking basement. Omg!!
With my heart in my throat I race to the stairs and down them.. no Bubba Joe crumpled limp on the bottom. (Insert sigh of relief). Search entire basement for bleeding child. Empty! Head back to the living room where I left him. There is no sign of him.
Not behind the couch, Not in his pop up circus tent.
Not in the entertainment stand, not in the air conditioning vent. (to the tune of Green Eggs and Ham)
With no access to anywhere else, my child is officially missing from our house. Panic sets in. Then suddenly I hear a giggle. A giggle from behind the closed bathroom door. WTF?
It seems it actually wasn't closed all the way and Mr. Mischievous found his way into the bathroom. Behind a now completely closed door is my little explorer playing in his basket of bath soaps.
Giggling his little face off.
Relief washes over me and suddenly I realize that this is the first of many close calls and scary moments. The first of many heart attacks. The first of many stupid parenting moves.
We are only human.
What dumb parenting moment gave you a big scare?
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