My First Crush

My First Crush

I will apologize ahead of time to the Mayhem Nation...shit's about to get sappy. Yes, it's that time of year again folks.  It is the month when most fights and break ups occur because the devil himself, Hallmark, invades every commercial and has women around the world waiting on bated breath for a Valentine card from their man. Then, add in his friends, Jared and FTD, and all hell breaks lose.

Our good friends over at Blogher want to get in on the action by dedicating the entire month of February to this satanic holiday. The theme for this hearts and flowers and air blown up your ass month,  is "Love & Sex".  So, I decided to join in the fun! So sit back and relax as this Mayhem Mommy turns into Dr. Phil, Dr. Love, or Dr.Pepper..who ever it may be and writes all month long about these two enjoyable topics.

First up: My First Crush

I was three. Maybe four. And his name was Arthur Herbert Fonzarelli. That sounds familiar you say. You might know him by his nickname, The Fonz or Fonzie. He road a motorcycle, had slicked back, jet black hair, and said sexy things like "Whoa" and "Ay".

Ay!

Ay!

I loved him. I was going to marry him. Me and The Fonz were "like this". I had Fonzie t-shirts. I watched him every time he was on television. He was coming for me...oh yes, he was. Screw that Pinky Tuscadero.

One day I decided that I was leaving home. Yes, at four years old, I was out! I packed my little bag, grabbed my faux leather coat, and marched straight up the stairs from our downstairs apartment and sat on the stairs leading to our landlords apartment. After all, that was as far as I was allowed to go.

And I waited.

And I waited.

Where the fuck is this dude?

And he never showed.......

Arthur "The Fonz" Fonzarelli stood me up. He never picked me up that day. I never got to ride on the back of his motorcycle. My first crush broke my heart. Damn that Pinky Tuscadero and her 20 years, big boobs, and pink motorcycle!

It's okay....I eventually moved on....to Shaun Cassidy.

Hot Stuff!

Hot Stuff!

 

 

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