I started blogging a few months after my son was born around late October of 2012. My blog became an avenue to help me cope with being a new mom, postpartum depression, and way to avoid jail time for murdering my partner. I had a rough go of it at first. Oddly enough, it really had nothing to do with the child. It was the hormones. Fucking hormones!
Having a baby has been second nature for me. I guess after years of taking care of animals, it really wasn't that much of a change. With having so many litters of St.Bernard puppies birthed and raised at my home, one little baby didn't seem like that much work. After all, when the Saint bitch says "Screw you, I hate these kids!" and refuses to nurse her young, it's left up to the human. Living alone and bottle feeding 12 puppies around the clock and cleaning shit from one end of a room to another makes an infant look like a cake walk.
The change in hormones and living with a man did me in. Granted Daddy Mayhem and I were together well before Bubba Joe arrived but there was something new, a change in our dynamics, that I can't pin point, that made me flip my shit. Hence, the postpartum drugs and this blog.
Blogging for me is a double life, an escape. Sure, I have friends and family that follow me. Hell, a couple of them have unfollowed this blog because of what I say. But, I can say what I want, when I want, and talk about what is important to me. Even if no one reads my blog, I feel better. My blog is my sounding board. If my friends and family don't want to get their feelings hurt or learn TMI, than I suggest they hit the "Unlike" button or Unsubscribe.
What I love the most about this blog is that Daddy Mayhem stays out of it. He simply says, " This is your thing". He is proud of me and my work. He just doesn't want to know. He knows I say stuff about him. It hasn't all been bad. But there will be shit said and he likes to avoid shit storms like the plague especially if there is a gale forced wind with my name on it.
The blogging community is so very supportive and amazing! I am really glad I decided to voice myself publicly instead of in a personal journal. I have met some amazing people online that I hope one day I can call my friends, face to face.
Read past posts from our Mayhem Mommies here!
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