We call my husband the mayor. He talks to everyone. He is genuinely interested in people's stories, what they do for a living, their passions, etc. He loves to quiz the lady he meets at Starbucks about the car he saw her drive up in earlier. Well I'm no mayoress. I'm not a big fan of small talk.
This makes Trader Joe's my worst nightmare.
I absolutely love shopping there and have a long list of favorites that I need to get weekly. The store is well mapped out so I can zip through, grab the goods, check out the new item end cap and fly to the checkout. I can strategically overflow a well balanced cart in 10 minutes. Then I race straight to the line and the flow suddenly ends. The checkout person wants to chat.
If they can't think of anything immediately, these are the lines that they must learn in their training manual because I've heard them often. This is how I'd REALLY like to answer:
You have a lot of food here, having a party? NO. I have no friends. I go home, sit on the living room floor, turn on Jerry Springer and shove it all in my face at once.
Any special plans for the weekend? No. I'm lonely. Can you take me to whatever you're doing?
What are you going to do with that dip you've got here? I like to stick my feet in it
Weather looks like it's breaking, you think it will be nice? No
Wow, two carts? You have family in town? No. I have kids that are relentless and expect to be fed every single day. Their eating habits are more like cows than humans
What are you up to today? This is about it. Shopping here and talking to you is really the highlight of my day.
Maybe I'm just hungry and crabby every time I go shopping. I really am a friendly, nice person. I just don't want to talk about my food selection. I don't want people asking about my eating habits. That's what Weight Watchers is for.
So please Trader Joe guy, just stop talking to me.
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