Nudity and dorm life seem to go together: Day One

Nudity and dorm life seem to go together: Day One

I have always been modest.  always.  In fact when I was about to graduate from college, my roommate made the comment, "I can't believe I've known you for four years, living in a tiny box most of the time, and I've never seen you naked -- not that I was really looking, but nothing even close to being naked.  Weird."

Not weird for me.  Maybe I have body issues or some other undiagnosed psychiatric problem, but I'm not a fan of skin.

Now that I'm back in the dorms chaperoning a soccer tournament, the nudity/dorm issues came rushing back to my thoughts.  Girls and guys changing in the shower locker room, everybody sprawled out in their underwear, often exposing a bit too much - which actually doesn't bother me too much, but I had no desire to flaunt my own goods.

This time I'm thinking it will be different.  We're on a floor with two girl teams (U17 and U11) and just a handful of chaperones.  Most of them are women besides our coach, another dad and a chaperone from the other team that looks a little on the crazy side.  He's over six feet tall and has untamed, long curly hair and balding on top a bit.  He's a cross between Gallagher and Bozo the Clown.

My roommate went to bed at lights out (10:00), and all I kept thinking was I just needed to wait about an hour before I take a shower in the three stall bathroom that was about a mile down winding hallways.  That way, I could get in and out and everyone would still be sleeping.  I made some posters for the girl's doors and by the time I was done, I couldn't hear a peep outside.  It was safe.

After going over the mountains and through the woods, I reached the shower stalls.  I picked the one in the middle.  Hmmmm, it's kind of tiny and there are no hooks.  I threw my towel over the side panel and wondered what to do with my pajamas and clothes (since of course I waited until I got to the shower to take anything off.)  There was a tiny corner bench, so I put my pj's down first even though it was slightly damp and my clothes I was wearing on top thinking that would protect the pajamas from getting wet.

I warmed up the water, but had to tilt it toward me so I could actually get wet.  Suddenly my worst fear came upon me.  Teenage girls entered and I was there, naked.  They of course stopped in front of my curtain to chat.  I must have stayed in that shower for 15 minutes waiting for them to leave.  When they finally left, I turned off the water and grabbed my clothes.  I must have been distracted by the voices, because everything was drenched.  And I mean DRENCHED.  shit shit shit shit.

It had to be about 11:30.  Everyone's asleep since they have big games tomorrow, right?  I wrap myself in my damp tiny towel and hold it with one hand and then grab the wet pile of items with the other.  That coupled with sloshing in flip flops, all I could think was, okay, I need to just make a mad dash for my room and I'll be fine.  No one is up.

I slosh up to the door and as I'm grabbing it, I go to turn the lights out at the same time (they have a sign that says 'hit the lights'.)  At the exact moment I was opening, shutting and sloshing, I fling the door open and a huge dark shadow was in front of me.  ohmygodohmygodohmygod - I then see Galager/Bozo is lumbering right outside the door.

I screamed at the top of my lungs and in my flustered state, I missed the lights, dropped the wet clothes and then what happened next seemed to have gone in slow motion.  Ever so slowly, I lost my grip on the tiny towel covering me and for a split second, wouldn't you know it.  It dropped.

yep.  the full monty.

I'm pretty sure I grabbed it in time before he got to take a good mental picture, because at first he let out a high pitched girl scream too, but then realized his mistake and shot his eyes and face to the ceiling and said, "SORRY - just looking for the Mens room!"

I never looked back at him or at all the opening doors that were wondering what the commotion was all about.  I took off like a cheetah to my room.

I always have a difficult time sleeping when I'm not in my own bed - this will surely push me over the edge.  I need to see this guy multiple times a day throughout the week.  My only hope is that 1) he was totally embarrassed and would never talk to anyone about the incident, 2) perhaps he didn't see anything, or 3) it was dark, my hair was sopping wet and no makeup, so I'm thinking he has no idea who I am.

How did I get through four years as a kid, but can't get through one day as an adult?  If Bozo looks at me with horor this morning at breakfast, then I guess I'll know it wasn't any of my options and he knows exactly who I am.  Have I told you how much I love chaperoning my daughters soccer team and living in the dorms?  This is so awesome.

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Filed under: entertainment

Tags: dorm, showers


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