Are you raising a Mama's Boy?

Are you raising a Mama's Boy?

Kindergarten meet-and-greet was yesterday and the time to send my last child off to school had arrived.  I'll be the first to admit that we're pretty attached to each other, but he's just so fun to be around.  It's the first time I've been able to enjoy one of my children without another child demanding my time.

We drove slowly to the big brick building as I soaked in every minute.  As soon as I threw the car in park, he jumped out and started demanding, "COME ON MOM!"  We walked hand in hand the long pathway to the double doors.  There was a main learning center that had a small area to play and some of the kids were building blocks and sharing puzzles.  My son jumped right in busily chatting with all of them.  I love watching 5 year olds.  Within the first five minutes they are instantly best friends.  Not so much with adults.

I walked over to a group of women and maneuvered myself into one of the miniature sized chairs.  We exchanged greetings and a few uneasy words.  My son came over and said, "Can I take one of the puzzles out?"  I said of course and turned my attention back to the women.  There was clearly one ring leader who was steering the conversation and seemed to be the master of all there was to know about child rearing.  My son came up again and asked for something else and before he ran off he said he loved me.  The ring leader started in on a monologue about the best way to balance it all when I could tell she was a bit distracted when my son came back one more time to give me his jacket.

She suddenly stopped talking, looked directly at me and said, "Uh oh, looks like somebody's raising a Mama's Boy!"  I wanted to get all gangster on her and yell - you talking to me Bitch?  But of course I just kind of half smiled and said, "Excuse me?"

"Oh I don't mean to offend.  He just seems like he's very attached."  Said with a big grin.  "There are some monster problems later in life when little boys are very attached to their mothers - good luck when he gets some girlfriends!"  I little chuckle came out --- of her, not me.

My first reaction was to yell back, "Oh yeah, well what about the little girl that's standing here with a vice grip on her mom's leg and hasn't budged because she's too afraid to go to the group.  Is she a Mama's girl?  Will she never get married?  You think your kid is going to be much better off after he realizes what a gossipy know-it-all you are?  Bring it Lady - I'll put my kid up against yours any day" (of course maybe not in a sporting competition.)

But since this is my year of making friends not waves, I just kind of smirked and said, "I'm not too worried."

Maybe I'm a little sensitive because I know he's a little extra attached to me.  In fact earlier that morning his older sister came down and happily said to him, "I don't have school, but the other kids do, aren't you excited that it's just us today?"  He looked at her, wrinkled up his nose and told her, "I'd rather it just be me and mom."

So why is it we worry so much about raising mama's boys when it's perfectly acceptable to have girls unwilling to make a separation from their mothers?  My Freshman was telling me a story about one of her teacher's asking random questions to get to know the new bright-eyed kids better and he asked her, "If you could have lunch in Chicago with anyone, who would it be?"  She said she got all flustered, and immediately shot back, "Uhhh, I don't know.  Uhhh, my mom?"  He asked why and she told him because she loved me.  The reaction from the other kids and even the teacher was a big awwww, that's sweet.  Now if a boy answered that way, there would be endless amounts of teasing attached to the rest of his day.

My husband adores his mother, and it never seemed to bother me in the slightest.  In fact, I think it's made him a better spouse because of it.  How a boy treats his mother tells you so much about them and what kind of person they'll be when they grow up.  I'm not saying there aren't a few extremes out there and maybe there should be a few more cutting of the cords, but I don't see why there has to be such a negative connotation attached to the Mama's Boy phrase.

Later in the afternoon I was making my son his favorite lunch and while he played with some action figures close by he said, "Do you know who my favorite super hero is?"

"Iron Man?"  No,  "Spiderman?"  No,  "Batman?" No,  "I don't know then.  Who is your favorite super hero?"

He put down his guys, looked up at me and said, "It's you mom.  It's you."

The tears instantly started to well up in my eyes.  Sorry future wife, but I'm keeping him a Mama's boy for as long as he'll let me.


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Filed under: parenting, Uncategorized

Tags: Mama's Boy, Mom, Son


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