I remember waiting at school for one of my kids to come out and striking up a conversation with a remarkable woman. She was witty, super-outgoing and just instantly easy to be around. For weeks we laughed, enjoyed each others history, went to lunch and saw each other almost daily.
Naturally the next step in our budding relationship was to get the husbands to meet. She suggested dinner Saturday night -- in my giddiness of finding this new friend, I happily agreed. My husband is a pretty easy going guy and will go along with just about everything I suggest. However when I started giving him "The Husband's" resume, he commented that it was starting to feel like a blind date.
Well when Saturday rolled around and we met at the Pub, it definitely turned into a blind date. A really bad blind date. Upon opening the doors, my new BFF and I exchanged big hugs and then introductions. The Husband seemed normal enough. We all shook hands and when the hostess came to seat us, The Husband announces, "I'll meet you at the table, I hafta take a wizz." What? Did he really just say that?
We sit at the table - girls across from each other and guys across from each other. The Husband comes back from his "wizz", sits down and starts into a long dissertation about the last time he came here and described the girl he banged that he met that night. What? Did he really just say that? The Wife just starts laughing and telling us that it's just his type of humor -- we'll get use to it.
After two hours together, we didn't really get use to it. He proceeded to down about 15 beers and was so obnoxious to the staff that I just wanted to hide under my napkin. It sort of went downhill after appetizers, and I could see my husband giving me 'the eye' every time I glanced over. When we finally escaped, they suggested we go across the street for drinks, but wouldn't you know it, our babysitter needed us home right away. The Husband could barely make it to the front door. We hugged again, talked about future plans, then bolted to our car. As we drove away, I swear I saw The Husband taking another wizz outside his car.
I chalked it up to him being nervous, and figured the amazing friend would apologize for her husband the next time we saw each other and tell me he just wasn't himself. When I saw her on Monday, not a word except, "That was so fun, let's do it again!" It was at that moment that I realized it's much easier to have just girlfriends.
It works the other way too. I've met plenty of my husband's friends that I just adore, but then when they arrange to get the wives together, it just doesn't seem to work out. I've had to suffer through plenty of dinner parties while he's laughing and joking with his Bromantic partner and I'm left talking to The Wife about her gardening woes. I often wondered if it would be rude to whip out my ipad and play a game of Tetris while I listened to her decorating dilemmas.
We currently have a number of couple friends that we do really enjoy, but they're REALLY hard to find. You would think if you like one half, you'd obviously like the other half. SO NOT TRUE.
But I have discovered you increase your odds of finding a good couple friend if you meet them both at or around the same time. Neighbors, and parents at your kid's sporting events are great potential couple friends. You go in kind of knowing if this is going to be a good situation for both of you.
One of our best couple friends I'm happy to report was one of the exceptions. I met The Wife first, and then slowly eased in 'The Husbands' and it's worked out well. But I know that was more of a fluke.
My advice for friend seekers out there is to keep your girlfriends and husbands separate. It keeps it all very simple. It also means that you won't internally cringe every time she talks about her husband and you'll be able to appreciate her stories instead of imagining him taking a wizz next to his car outside the restaurant.