1,001 Reasons To Hate Justin Bieber: Dropping An F-Bomb On The Court Reporter


Justin Bieber Dropping An F-Bomb On A Court Reporter

Until now, I only had 1,000 reasons to hate Justin Bieber.  Thanks, Biebs, for giving me one more reason not to like you.  Honestly, I was never a fan of your music, but you've made it increasingly difficult to tolerate your behavior over the years.  You've grown from an annoying little kid into a foul-mouthed punk.  It's not the tats, because ink just doesn't bother me.  It's not your over-jelled-standing-on-end hair, because that's nothing more than a phase.

What's not a phase is your perpetual my-shit-doesn't-stink attitude.  Let me short-circuit this for you, if I can:  There's an expiration date on being the "it" kid.  Just ask Lindsay.  Or Brittany.  Miley.  If you want a guy's perspective, there's always Maccaulay.  It's no odd coincidence that, like you, they're all recognizable on a first-name basis.

And although you, too, have risen to one-name-only stature, Biebs, you've done so with such artistry that you've not only [negatively] garnered a Florida judge's attention, you've drawn the ire of an entire lesser-known subindustry in the legal world:  Court Reporters.

Until now, few people were even aware of the court reporting profession.  But since your deposition has gone viral, you've forced me to set the record straight about who we are and what we do as reporters.

No, no, we're not the quiet folks in the background who love the occasional F-bomb lobbed in our direction while we're trying to do our jobs.

Court Reporters:  We're hard-working, licensed professionals who are an integral part of the legal process.  We make a verbatim record of court, deposition and other proceedings.  Verbatim, that means word-for-word, which includes F-bombs, Biebs.  Besides the Court, we're the only other folks involved in legal proceedings who remain unbiased.  Since the word "unbiased" might be beyond your vocabulary. . .

Unbiased:  Showing no prejudice for or against something; impartial.

Actually, if you think about it, reporters are an extension of the Court.  So if you look at it like that--that we're an extension of the Court--it's kind of funny because you just swore in the judge's face.  After all, when the judge reads the transcript, he's not going to blame the reporter for dropping an F-bomb on the record--those are your words.

So while you think you're uber cool delivering a response to the court reporter like, "I think yes and no are f'ing pretty different," when asked for a clarification for the record, you might want to give consideration to the fact that the judge will be reading that little quip and you have now officially made the Court aware that you are, indeed, an ass clown.

Hey, Biebs, we just make the record.  It's people like you that make our jobs so interesting.

PS:  On behalf of one of my peers, thanks so much for not sicking your bodyguards to open a can of whoop on the reporter because she asked for clarification!

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    The Ink Slinger

    I am a court reporter. A keeper of the record. A fly on the wall. For over a quarter century, I have had a front-row seat in legal proceedings -- private depositions, public trials, town hall meetings! And just when I think I've heard it all, I am proven wrong! What most people don't know about court reporters is that while we seem stoic and hyper efficient, we have ears and eyes and a brain in between. But we cloak our emotions, stifling our laughter. . .and our tears. . .as we make the record. This interactive blog is dedicated to my reporting peers, a place where I share courtroom chaos and other fun tales!

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