Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays White Sox fans. I always think of Christmas morning as meant for children, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have certain holiday wishes for current and former White Sox players. To wit…
For Aaron Bummer:
A new first name to represent a slogan for the 2018 season, Total Bummer.
For James Shields:
A new suitcase and a one way ticket to anywhere but 35th and Shields.
For Adam Dunn and Adam LaRoche:
Two new consciences, enabling both of them to write checks and give the White Sox their money back.
For Hawk Harrelson:
He is broadcasting 20 games in 2018 to conclude a 34-year broadcasting career with the White Sox. He deserves 19 wins (I need 1 loss; losses bring out the famous Hawk homerism and vitriol that I will sorely miss).
For Mark Buehrle:
One more start.
For A.J. Pierzynski:
Steve Stone’s spot upon his retirement.
For Carlos Rodon:
Chris Sale’s durability and a new agent (everybody hates Scott Boras, even his mother).
For Tim Anderson:
A breakout season.
For Adam Engel:
A bat that works as well as his glove.
For Avi Garcia:
A contract extension in June after a 15 home run, 50 runs batted in, .340 batting average, and .400 on base percentage start to the season.
For Matt Davidson:
The ability to lay off the low and outside breaking ball when he is playing for the Tampa Rays.
For Mike Stickann:
Matt Davidson is traded to the Tampa Rays for a broken coffee maker.
Have a safe and joyous holiday and New Year!
Next: Comparing the likely 2018 White Sox roster with the rest of the American League Central.