Archive for February 2014

True fear is linked always and forever to true love

It’s weird the way things shape your life. I knew the big things—marriage, babies—were going to play a huge role. I knew that some of the big things would be bad, but I didn’t think too much about that. Magical thinking, I guess. I was afraid that thinking about bad things would make them happen.... Read more »

It's Donna Day: we can’t let our children’s suffering wait in line behind our own

It's Donna Day: we can’t let our children’s suffering wait in line behind our own
Dying from cancer is mostly a story about suffering, the relentless loss of everything that makes life worth living. There is nothing romantic or ennobling about it. The most human of responses is to turn away from suffering. Watching someone you love disintegrate or arch their back in pain or fade to gray, all of... Read more »

Saying goodbye to Julie

Saying goodbye to Julie
Saying goodbye has never been easy for me. My family moved 13 times by the time I was 18, and it seemed like my world was one goodbye after another. Goodbyes have gotten harder since being diagnosed with cancer. Cancer is wrapped up with loss. We lose the feeling of being “normal.” Some days, after... Read more »
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Negotiating remission: life after the storm

Negotiating remission: life after the storm
I’m wearing my 15-year-old jean jacket today, two days after my university closed its doors at 2 in the afternoon and I drove home in white-out conditions. Two days after spending a couple of hours shoveling wet snow off my driveway, tossing it higher and higher onto icy berms. Yesterday and today, though, the sun... Read more »

Lyle Lovett makes any collision more enjoyable

I read some cheesy card somewhere that said it’s not how you live during a crisis that tells the most about you, it’s how you live every day. Well the woman I ran into in the parking lot on Sunday, the one driving the Audi, she and I are living our everyday lives pretty well,... Read more »

10 reasons you should eat out tonight

10 reasons you should eat out tonight
This has been a hard year so far, full of lots and lots of conflict and disagreement, both in my own little world and in the world around me. Erin Petron Gosser has a blog on ChicagoNow called “Social Butterfly Mom,” and she came up with a fantastic series for thinking about disagreements. She’s calling... Read more »
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Living with cancer: the new normal

Living with cancer: the new normal
Our bodies and our physical being are a very important part of who we are, or who we think we are. Is that obvious? I don’t really think so, at least not to healthy people. Surgery, chronic illness, injuries, cancer toss all sorts of obstacles in our paths. One of the biggest obstacles for me... Read more »