Mommy Shaming Leads to Mean Girls

As Bulldog Solution launches our back to school campaign and delivers our programs in schools, I feel that this is a topic that needs to be addressed: Mommy Shaming. This is an issue that needs to stop! Ladies, what is this about? Why is it done? As a mom, I have been shamed, and it really hurt me. I wish I would have said something in that moment, but it all happened to quickly and I was left with “what ifs” and “next time”.

In my line of work, there is no place for mommy shaming. As women, we need to collectively stop this mean, vicious behavior as it not only hurts other women, but it also does not feel good. It truly does not feel good to put someone else down. If one mom feels the need to put down another mother to make themselves feel valued, I would like for them to really look at themselves and question their mommy shaming behavior.stop-mommy-shaming

Motherhood is rougher than it has ever been. We are worried for our kids’ safety, their online interactions, their friendships, their mental health, and their nutrition. So let's come together to stop shaming. I don't get it—we want our kids to be kind and compassionate, but for some moms the choice of action is to shame others.

My concern is that kids are lacking empathy and compassion. In assemblies, kids are meaner and more resistant almost as if kindness has become uncool. However, in actuality, kindness can save a life, build a friendship, and foster an amazing leader to make a difference.

Mobilizing children’s moral courage to be Upstanders may be our best hope to stop peer cruelty. Kid interventions cut bullying by more than half the time and within 10 seconds, but they must learn to how to step in or get help.”- Dr. Michelle Borba, Unselfie

Overall, feeling the need to shame a mom calls into question the types of thoughts and behaviors that are being modeled in the home.

For moms that have been shamed: I am so far from being the perfect mom. I often try to hard, I yell, I scream, I sleep-in, I drink too much coffee and love wine. I typically wear baseball caps and sweatshirts. I wear workout clothes everyday with the intention of going to the gym; however, I rarely make it there. I love to binge on Netflix and my daughter eats sugar! I can go on and on. I love my weird self, but when I am shamed I come into questioning who I am as a mother. Regardless of how we might put on a tough shell and pretend we don’t care, we often get wounded by words. Those words weight hard on us. It’s up to us to start making a difference. So next time you hear some mommy shaming, stick up for the other mom, say something, or do something! It is in these moments when we stay silent, we are indirectly accepting these behaviors. We are silently saying it’s ok to put someone else down, as long as it is not me. This chips away at us, and soon impact the way we see ourselves. As we teach kindness, compassion, and leadership to our kids, we need to model that same behavior.

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When one mommy shames you remember she is hurting and she is most probably acting out because she is in pain. So, go up to her and say, “You are doing a great job...and I am too!” If we can turn these moments into kind learning opportunities, we can foster a better world for our children.

Until Next Time...
Kortney Peagram
Be Brave*Be Strong* Be a Bulldog

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