"In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total sl*t and no other girls can say anything about it." -Cady, Mean Girls (2004)
Today is Halloween and in 12 years or so I will be absolutely dreading this holiday. It will be one of those days that you hate me, when you inform me that I am so uncool (though I'm sure saying the word uncool will be uncool by then), and cry on your best friend's shoulder screaming that I just don't get it. That day, you will argue with me that Ashley's mom lets her dress up like a sexy kitten, nurse, Nemo (yes, believe me, I've seen Nemo showing way TOO much skin on Halloween), pirate, dragon, or whatever is cool that year. You will roll your eyes, stomp your feet, and slam two or three doors. It will hit me that you will no longer want to dress up like that adorable monster or fairy. I will miss these years where we trick and treat together and explore the neighborhood (AKA mommy's time to be snoopy and see our neighbors' homes). I know the time will come when you will walk down our stairs looking like a Hannah Montana's evil twin...Miley Cyrus!
That's when we will have THE TALK! The talk about how Halloween is not about putting it ALL out there and why it is not ok to dress like a sexy angel. Now as a mom, I look at costumes a little differently than say...my early twenties. I see the horror in all these sexy costumes and notice how women are objectified. It didn't really hit me until I was looking for a costume to match yours for our trick or treat adventures. I know how much you love Tinker Bell, but mommy can't pull off that costume! I just realized that poor Tinker needs to get some clothes on! Mommy would look more like Thicker Bell than Tinker Bell!
Every Halloween costume I saw was sexy and I didn't quite know how I could be a non-sexy fairy. It was quite the conundrum! So, I went ahead and took a sexy pirate costume and added in a Tutu, leggings, a long sleeve t-shirt (to go underneath my costume), and some wings and...Voilà, I am a NON-SEXY pirate fairy! So as you get older and think about bringing sexy back on Halloween, "H", think about the message you are sharing. Dressing up for Halloween does not have to mean to dress with less. Sexiness is about confidence, attitude, and how to be comfortable in your own skin. By showing too much skin you are overexposing yourself and sending a certain kind of message. You don't have to do it; especially NOT on Halloween. It seems to be the one day a year where women let themselves go to the naughty side. Don't get me wrong, I have dressed up like a french maid, sexy school girl (à la Britney Spears), and of course a sexy kitten. But, I wish your grandma would have sat me down and talked to me about what it means to be sexy and how I could find my inner sexiness. This Halloween made me realize that THE TALK is an important chat we need to have in the future. Sexiness can be achieved in so many ways. We don't need to overexpose or show it ALL to achieve it. Be proud of who you are and remember that the way we dress is an expression of ourselves. Think about what message you are sending and whether it is the message you want to be sharing with the world. So, be ready, "H", I might be prepping a bit early, but rest assured, I'll have our little Halloween talk ready BEFORE you try to sneak out of the house in a sexy fairy costume wearing nothing more than a strapless bikini and some wings.
Sending you the biggest momma bear hug.
Love you, "H"! xoxo
Until Next Time...
Be Strong*Be Brave*Be a Bulldog
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Filed under: Letters to My Daughter