A Letter to My Daughter, "H": How I can Change to Give you a Chance to be Strong!

Dear "H",

This month is bullying prevention month and I have been thinking of you. "H", being a girl is hard! Though you're only 19 months, I wish I could already shield you from the pain that comes with growing up in a wired society. A society where you can be exposed in a blink of an eye and where being the best is often more important than being a good person. We are an evolving society that is no longer black and white, but often grey. With the work I do with teens, I know that I can't protect you from some of the pain of teasing, gossip, and rumors. You will be exposed and I will be here when it happens, I will work with you and help you find the right strategies to overcome the drama, but I won't be able to save you from all of this.

In my programs, my heart aches when I hear the pressure and scrutiny that teens undergo. Girls can be vicious to each other: they can destroy their best friends out of spite, jealously, or revenge. It can be a dog eat dog world in middle school and I don't want you to be scarred by the drama. So, here is my promise to you: I will try my best to model good behavior and my emotional strength at home. I am doing this so that you don't ever feel like I am not supportive of you or that I don't love you for who you are or what you want to do. Here are 5 little things I can start doing today to help you build a strong character and self-esteem.

"H": my little fashionista!

"H": my little fashionista!

  1. I will no longer call myself fat, ugly, or criticize myself in front of you. I will work on not being my worst critic. But, for now, I will at least make the conscious effort to not expose you to my villain side that says I am never good enough. That little voice in my head shall stay in my head and never be heard by you. Life is too short to pass on my internal demons to you.
  2. I will no longer apologize for things that are not my fault. I find I spend way too much time saying, "I am sorry". Being sorry for everything does not make anyone feel good. It does not build strong character, but instead takes a little part of me every time I say it.
  3. I will be more assertive! I so often fear of hurting peoples' feelings that I don't share my point of view or what I want. It is funny: "H", in my business, I am assertive, direct, and strong. My clients and I have great relationships. My staff show me a great amount of respect. Teachers listen to me, and the kids...well, they actually think I am cool. Right!?! It's because I am real with them and listen. So, I will make an effort to put on my boss hat everyday and be more assertive towards our extended family and friends. I will show you that you can live the life you want to lead.
  4. I will be ok being the quirky, hard working, wine loving mom I am and stop trying to be a Pinterest mom. I am building this business for your future, and to also honor your late uncle Jason. I want to make an impact on this world, and I got to love me for me and not worry about who society wants me to be. When people start talking smack about you that means you are relevant! Let the criticism begin because I am ready to make a difference in this world with Bulldog!
  5. Everyday, I will be grateful for something and I will share it with you. I want you to see that even when things get rough or a little scary, there is always something to be grateful for. Showing gratitude humbles you and you often get to see the intangible.

Those are my little tips for you, "H", as you grow up in this techy world. I hope you use them as you encounter mean girls, horny little boys, and be exposed to way too much information. I won't prevent you from taking risks, but I will coach you to take them in a way that will build you into a strong proud woman. By you taking risks, you will be better at problem solving and become more resilient. Those are the things I will teach you. But before I become the teacher, I need to work on myself.

Sending you the biggest momma bear hug.
Love you, "H"! xoxo



Until Next Time...

Kortney Peagram
Be Strong*Be Brave*Be a Bulldog

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Filed under: Letters to My Daughter

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