Trichotillomania: Remembering that I have another child

Trichotillomania: Remembering that I have another child

For those of you who are new to my Trichotillomania category, my 13 year old daughter has trich - an impulse control disorder where a person has the uncontrollable urge to pull out their own hair. It doesn't hurt and they will pull hair from anywhere. My oldest pulls her eyelashes, eyebrows and scalp.

However, this post isn't about my 13 year old. It's about my other child - my 11 year old.

She does not pull. She does not have anxiety. She is an excellent, self-motivated student who gets straight A's.

It's hard to admit, because I love both my girls so much, but she's just easier. Most of the time.

At age 7, she was tested for the accelerated program at school. She missed qualifying for MENSA by one point.

She's very intelligent, but she has her own struggles - socially. You'd never know it if you met her, though.

She's kind, generous, funny and engaging. One-on-one, you might even call her charming. When she was younger, a more appropriate term used to describe her was precocious.

Just don't ask her to go ring the doorbell next door and ask the neighbor for something. If you are out at a new park with a group of kids she doesn't know, do not expect her to go meet those kids on her own.

DO NOT let her watch the news. Empathetic cannot begin to describe the intensity of what she feels about all the bad stuff happening in the world. If I let her, she'd take on the weight of the world and it would crush her gentle, mischeivous spirit.

Even as a baby, she wasn't a snuggler. Now, it's "quick hit" hugs. Until she needs more.

I forget, because she doesn't demand anything. She'd rather give in, or walk away than get embroiled in conflict. When my husband (her daddy) and I would play bicker, she'd demand, "NO FIGHTING!"

We had to explain that her dad and I weren't really fighting. We always poke fun at each other playfully and we love each other very much. Weight of the world....

Her struggles are not nearly as visible as her sister's, nor are they as demanding. I have to remember to focus on her, because she deserves it.

As a bold, totally unshy person, I cannot relate to her shyness, just as I cannot relate to my oldest's lack of motivation in her school work. It's all utterly foreign to me.

But it's also what makes them so wonderfully them. They are not me; they are not their dad. They are both their own unique combination of DNA, personality traits and souls.

What amazing blessings they both are in my life, and I thank God every day for allowing me to be their mom, struggles and all.

Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

3 John 4 (ESV)

4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.


What struggles do you face with your kids? Share here in the comments if you'd like.

Want to keep it a bit more private? Message me on my Facebook page, or email me at  I will answer as soon as I can.

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