Tomorrow is Mother's Day, a day to celebrate your mom and/or being a mom. For some of us, though, Mother's Day isn't always happy.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for celebrating the amazing women that are called "mom." It's just that for some of us, Mother's Day is also a reminder of what's NOT in our lives.
That's a full 17 years of not having a mom to celebrate with, and not being a mom the way I desperately wanted to be.
Most of the time, when Mother's Day came around, I tried to ignore it.
When I was younger and had no wedding ring on my left hand, people would ask, "Doing anything special with your mom this weekend?"
I never knew what to say in response.
Usually, I wanted to scream, "NO!! My mom's DEAD you idiot!!"
But, there was no need to be so reactionary and harsh. It wasn't the asker's fault that he/she didn't know my mom was gone.
Instead, I'd respond with, "My mom passed when I was young." Then, of course, came the cursory reply of, "Oh, I'm so sorry."
Then the subject would change, or I'd ask about their plans, and all awkwardness was forgotten - by them.
Later in life, after I was married, people would ask, "So, your kids doing anything special for you this Mother's Day?"
I don't know if I was able to mask the auto-flinch or not, but I tried to not bite the person's head off. I'd politely and quietly answer, "We don't have any children."
My hubby and I struggled to get pregnant for nearly 5 years.
We also lived in a suburban neighborhood on a cul-de-sac where so many women were pregnant, a friend carelessly said, "Boy, there must be something in the water!" I immediately did bite his head off with, "Not for all us!" and walked away.
I know he felt terrible, if the look on his face was any indicator, but I just didn't have it in me to let that one go.
I lost count of the number of times I secretly cried when I heard another friend/neighbor/family member was pregnant.
Mother's Day was not a happy day for me.
Mother's Day is still bittersweet for me. I miss my mom, even though I've been nearly 29 years without her.
Mother's Day always makes me ponder the things she didn't get to see - the things she wasn't here to share. From college graduations, to weddings, to births...the list is huge and heartbreaking.
Even though Mom isn't here, I am blessed to have great "moms" in my life - my always supportive step-mom, Terry; my loving and helpful mother-in-law, Carol; my treasured Aunt Mary; my sister/supporter/advisor/confidante, Alison; my step-sister and my many sisters-in-law and beloved friends that are moms.
Their love and friendship fill my heart with happiness, knowing that I have amazing women to help fill the void my mom's death left behind.
So to all of you moms out there, or those whose mom is still around - Happy Mother's Day!!
For those who have lost their mom or desperately want to be a mom, I feel your pain; I understand your walk.
Know that my prayers are with you on this day, because Mother's Day isn't always happy.
Proverbs 31:25-30 (ESV)
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
How do you celebrate Mother's Day? Do you celebrate Mother's Day?
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