Aries Apology:Don’t Care About S.E.O.

Aries Apology:Don’t Care About S.E.O.
Art work by Angel Crusher

Memorial Day is upon us.  We bring to mind the many women and men who have sacrificed life and limb and mental health in wars.  Those thoughts usually occupy me during this holiday.  I lost too many friends in Viet Nam to think of Memorial Day as Barbecue Day.  But this year is a little different.  I’m thinking of the friends, family and acquaintances I personally shot down just by being an Aries.

I don’t normally place much credence in horoscopes.  I read them occasionally in the newspaper.  Once I cut one out and saved it because it said I would be receiving surprising good news in the mail that day.  It was my acceptance letter to medical school.  I think that qualified.  My husband on the other hand studied astrology.  Yes, there is such a thing.  My favorite roommate studied the effects of planets and stars by looking at historical events.  Astrology is a very old science possibly dating back to 3rd millennium B.C.  I must admit my eyes have a tendency to glaze over when he is relating the effects of Pluto on civilizations past and current.  The apparent lack of interest did not stop me from picking up one of his books on astrology last week.  It was the only book present in the bathroom at the time.  Whatever the circumstances I couldn’t help but recognize something of myself in the description of Aries.  So here’s a mea culpa to all my friends, family and associates for all the years you have put up with me but let me relate the passages that caught my eye and required this Memorial to hurt feelings.

First, about my relationship with my mother.  My mother passed away but I still remember wondering how in heaven’s name she married my father and I voiced it often. I’m sorry.  It’s because I’m an Aries and I quote. “The Aries female has compassion for her mother-but she vows never to put herself into the same situation that her mother is in.  She doesn’t want her mother’s career, or her mother’s kind of marriage.  She may be so father dominated (by love or hate) that she actually ends up being a “better man” than most men.”  I can’t tell you how many times people have thought I was a lesbian.  Before the hate mail arrives I want to say I have nothing against gay, Lesbian, bi or whatever.  It did make it hard to attract some males when they felt they didn’t have a snowballs chance in hell and the ones that wanted to “change my mind” were brain dead, clueless idiots.  So, who cared? 

Secondly, to my husband, Honey I am sorry but you should understand this, after all you have read this book and even highlighted this section in yellow.  “She tries to prove herself by doing everything well; she therefore has difficulty letting her partner do anything.”  I stand accused.  I’m just lucky that my husband does understand and overlooks.  He also is so capable of all things electronic, computer based and anything having anything to do with physics that I don’t even think about out manning him.  I will not however let him cook.  Once he put snow peas in gumbo! My ancestors turned over in their graves.

Third, to all my other family members and friends who have experienced my “helpfulness” and especially to one of my daughter in laws and she knows who I mean.  The poor thing had just delivered a baby.  The house was full of relatives wishing to welcome the newborn to our family.  It was, to my eyes, mass chaos.  Being the ex-caterer and event planner I decided that my husband and I should go off to the grocery and prepare refreshments for the hoard.  I thought it was a great idea.  Apparently that was exactly the wrong thing to do.  After we spent over 100 bucks on groceries we got a call on the cell phone telling us to cease and desist. “The Aries female, in her quest for being helpful to others, may push ideas on people when they aren’t ready to accept those ideas, or when those ideas haven’t been asked for.”  To my daughter who recently bought a house, I apologize for nearly insisting you let your father redo the entire kitchen because it is totally unworkable.  If you don’t want an island in the kitchen that’s just fine dear.  To one of our sons, a special apology for constantly seeking a wife for you and to the women I have lured or attempted to lure into meeting you.  You are just such a wonderful man and I have met some women who deserve to be treated better than they are by the goofs they are with. Mea culpa to those to whom I have not apologized if you think you deserved one.  Feel better, this is all inclusive.

So may all hurt feelings be put to rest. To wrap this up, a final quote, “The influence of the father on the Aries female turns her into the Scarlet O’Hara type,” Frankly Scarlet I think I’m in great company and I don’t give a damn if my title doesn’t ring the S.E.O. bell!



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