No More Bikini Waxes; Eat Cucumber Salad Instead

No More Bikini Waxes; Eat Cucumber Salad Instead

I never thought I would see the day that a research article about genetically modified crops (Monsanto Frankenfood) would have me doubled over in laughter.  I mean really, tears were falling onto my keyboard as I read the article about Monsanto cucumbers being banned in Nova Scotia .  Trust me, follow the link and be prepared to have your day brightened. Bald private parts Monsanto Cucumbers

I roused my husband from his after dinner and football nap to take a look at this article. “This has got to be a joke”, my husband said between attempting to inhale between guffaws.  “You have to send the link to Lara!”  She’s my Canadian sister in law who has to be one of the funniest human beings on the planet.  She loves to laugh.  I decided to send the link to this post first.

Federal Minister of Health Leona Aglukkaq said a Canada-wide recall and ban will be issued within 24 hours. "The Government of Canada takes this very, very seriously," said the Minister. "Being hairless down there should be a matter of personal choice for Canadian men and women and not one taken away by a cucumber." Though we are all laughing at the article in The Lapine, genetically modified food is no laughing matter. Most of the “civilized world” has banned it but since we Americans have a government that is largely run by corporations like Monsanto, we have to put up with balding crotches or forgo cucumber on our salads.  Not to mention we might have to give up pickles.    According to the article even McDonald’s is pulling pubic plucking pickles from the burgers. (Try saying that five times fast).  Better yet start saying ban GMO’s to as many politicians as possible or lobby for the naysayers to go on a regular diet of Monsanto cucumbers!  What a hoot, plucked pubic politicians!

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  • Geez, Danie, you really need to research your topics before you post them. This is at least the second time that you have reported on something that is a hoax. This story has been widely reported on the Web as a satire. If not, please provide a link to the original source. You're destroying your credibility.

  • Gary, your comment confirms my position that you don't know the difference between a blog and a news report. I am a blogger not a reporter!

    This article is a satire but the fact remains that the message is one with which I agree. Agribusiness and especially Monsanto is a monstrous creation ruining the health of the planet, bankrupting farmers by forcing them to buy Monsanto seed, use Monsanto products and requiring purchase of materials and equipment. Monsanto is suing farmers who DON'T use their seeds if seeds are blown into non Monsanto growers fields.

    BTW there is a link. If it disappeared? Spooky maybe Monsanto is monitoring my laptop. Yes, that is a joke.

  • Danie, you want so badly to believe your own propaganda that you don't bother to investigate anything. In fact, that's how you came to your own belief system. You merely adopted whatever extreme beliefs you encountered that support your world view of corporate conspiracy.

    The only link you provided was to the satire.

    Prove to me that agribusiness is ruining the health of the planet. Do you really think this planet could support 7 billion people with what you think is sustainable agriculture? Thank God for Monsanto or we'd all be starving. And how do they FORCE farmers to use their products? The same way you believe Walmart forces their employees to work there and forces customers to shop there?

  • In reply to Gary Lucido:

    This is me and fortunately most scientist who see ahead to mono-crop devastation issues ignoring you.

  • In reply to Gary Lucido:

    As for my own propaganda, try history on mono-crop issues like the potato famine. http://evolution.berkeley.edu/evolibrary/article/agriculture_02

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    @Gary. Watch "Forks over Knives" a documentary on the poison your coveted giants create to feed the billions of people. Watch "Food Inc" which discusses the politics of farming. People need to speak out against these giants to get sustainable living back into our lives and communities. Processed food, is not food but filler. Millions of people are affected by these fillers. I have only recently changed my lifestyle to only eat Organic produce and back to clean eating. Be a doll and do your own research, as I have. This is only a blog which if you need that spelled out...extraordinary people discussing subjects and ideas. The satire of the article Danie speaks of is a reflection of a news site called "The Onion" but its obvious you don't "get it"...I'm Canadian and I eat cucumbers!!

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    I don't think you can feed the world entirely with sustainable practices but companies like Monsanto offer solutions that can be very damaging in the long run especially as weeds and insects build up resistance to their herbicides and insecticides and those same chemicals used have had devastating effects on the pollenating bee population, and as biodiversity shrinks and we have monocropping we are more susceptible to a virus(s) wiping out entire entire crops. Not to mention as gmo seeds are blown into indigenous crop fields they contaminate them and can and have had very negative effects on the indigenous crops.

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    Farmers are forced to use Monsanto because once a government allows them in the seeds spread, and if you have an organic field of crops in close proximity to Monsanto crops the toxic spray is devastating to human health as well as the organic crops.

  • There is nothing sustainable about sustainable agriculture. There is a reason it is more expensive than modern farming: it's simply less efficient and consumes more resources. More resources = larger ecological impact so I'm not even sure it's better for the environment. You can not feed the world with your so-called sustainable practices.

    As for the supposed "poison" being created by these monsters the fact remains that lifespans continue to increase. It must be working.

    As for the dangers of monocrops...how long has it been since the potato famine? Do you really think these profit hungry companies are going to let something like that happen again?

    Hey, go ahead and waste your money on so-called organic food. There's a good reason it's a niche market.

  • BTW, I'd love to get the politics out of farming. Let's cut out all agricultural subsidies, price supports, and ethanol subsidies. Talk about a waste of taxpayer dollars.

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    Gary,

    It would behoove you to do a little more research on the topic. It is no accident that GMO crops have been banned in many other parts of the world. There have been no long term studies on the health effects of consuming these products. Moreover for those of us who value our health, there aren't any labels to help us steer clear from consuming them. Here's a few links that you may like to check out:

    http://www.naturalnews.com/037249_GMO_study_cancer_tumors_organ_damage.html

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H9WZGKQeYg

    http://indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com/article/next-generation-of-genetically-modified-foods-may-affect-human-health-71783

  • In reply to Shelly Sutton:

    I didn't make a blanket statement that all GMO crops were OK. First, I was pointing out that Danie was reporting on a hoax and secondly, I was pointing out that sustainable agriculture is not viable.

    I would agree that GMO crops pose a POTENTIAL risk but I don't think you can rule them all out. Crops designed to withstand droughts or grow bigger fruit should be OK. Crops that mess with insect DNA or absorb Roundup sound risky to me.

    BTW, the only way we are going to have bananas in 10 years is if they can be modified to withstand the Panama virus.

  • In reply to Gary Lucido:

    Actually it's the Panama fungus.

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