by David Schuster
I wanted to see the fourth installment of "Pirates Of The Caribbean" in its opening week. The problem was I was in the midst of covering the NBA Eastern Conference Finals between the Bulls and the Heat. I had to squeeze it in so my decision came down to seeing it while in Florida or back in Chicago. Let's see here, tough decision. Should I give up a day on South Beach where it was 90 and sunny or should I wait until I get back to 50 and raining?
Well, I may not be the best movie critic, but I'm no dummy. Chicago it was. And the movie matched the weather conditions....DREARY.
Some series just run their course and get as tired as a twenty year-old cat. "Pirates Of The Caribbean" is a shining example. When it first came out it was fresh and unique and Johnny Depp was born to play Captain Jack Sparrow. Depp was kooky and the audiences ate it up but all these years later and it's like Depp plays Sparrow as a parody of himself.
A lot of the original characters wisely threw their towels in on this series. Gone are Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley replaced by Penelope Cruz and Ian McShane. I love looking at Cruz, and McShane is solid in just about everything. Geoffrey Rush is back in this movie and I'm still pissed that he didn't win Best Supporting Actor in "The King's Speech."
The tired ridiculous plot this time around involves finding the Fountain Of Youth but it takes almost two hours to get to it and another twenty minutes of drag time after that. Note to all movie studios....anything over two hours is TOO LONG. The writing in this installment is pretty stale where as in the first three there were some funny lines and some that you really had to pay attention to for the underlying humor.
Usually movies serve as a great distraction from what's going on in your life but this movie couldn't even do that for me. I kept visualizing Derrick Rose settling for an off balanced bad jump shot at the end of regulation in Game 4 as opposed to driving to the basket. I gave a thumbs down on that decision and I give a Big thumbs down on this movie. Just - a weak single - one star for the latest and last (I hope) installment of "Pirates Of The Caribbean"