by David Schuster
Got up early Sunday morning and went to see "Salt". It had been so long since I actually saw anything that I really liked a lot and thought this would be it. After all most of the critics were giving it three and four stars and Angelina Jolie was starring in it and I admit I am enamored with her. So in spite of little sleep off I went with the best of intentions.
It definitely got off on the right foot as there were only four people in the theater even though one of the four had to sit right behind me (God knows why) in a 1,000 seat capacity area. Then the flick started and right away there is Jolie in very little clothing and I'm thinking four stars already. And throughout the movie Jolie (damn she's hot) is shown in all kinds of get ups and hair styles that makes this woman one of the most beautiful and sexy on the planet.
But, and this is a BIG but, the movie is so ridiculous that not even Jolie could save it for me. In a nut shell Jolie plays a CIA spy who works in the Washington bureau. Then one day in comes a Russian who claims that Jolie is a double agent. Jolie then goes on the run trying to prove her innocence but you're never sure she is on our side or really a Ruskie. While on the run this movie loses it and loses it quick. In one scene after another Jolie evades her pursuers and by the time the movie is over she has personally knocked out or shot at least fifty CIA,
FBI or Secret Service Agents. Just to show that she is even handed she also kills about a dozen Russian agents. Damn I knew she was hot but I had no idea she was "Super Girl" too. She also jumps out of windows, jumps out of a helicopter, jumps from one moving truck to another twice and even drives a car off a bridge suffering just a scratch that required a band aid. Sorry but this is where movies always fall apart for me. Now I like action as much as the next person but cant there ever be action with any reason to it? In this movie Jolie is the heavyweight Champion of the World, James Bond and Hercules all wrapped up into one.
It's one miracle after another and at the end, of course, she saves the world from annihilation. Can this woman not do anything? And as I was sitting there with the credits rolling I pondered that one with the sequel sure to come. If she is such a miracle worker and impenetrable to all that can harm her then lets see her fix the mess that the Chicago Cubs have been for the last century. If she can unload all those over inflated salaries and turn around this franchise she truly is a Super Agent (and no I don"t mean Scott Boros).
Ten stars for Jolie (I'm still smitten) but just a ground rule double - two stars for this so called good movie.