Olivia Pope meet your newest clients: "Duck Dynasty's" Phil Robertson, Cliven Bundy, and Donald Sterling

images (1)Yes, Ms. Pope we know you and the other Gladiators may not be taking on any new clients now, between your maternity leave/hiatus and the shakeup in your staff, but these people need you.

Need may not adequately express the urgency that these hotbeds of public opinion catastrophes require from you.

And while we know timing is paramount to getting in front of a potential media driven crisis, some of these cases may be beyond even your crack team's expertise.

We'll help in a way that should make you proud.

This applies to a lot of situations keep quiet, hear all the allegations leveled at you, then  speak only with an Olivia Pope, and a lawyer.

Don't add others to your original diatribe, for instance if you start out giving your widely researched history lesson on slavery in this country, and the positive effects it's had on all involved, don't add your humane thoughts on gays to the mix. It just clouds the importance of your first misguided ramblings.

If by some strange set of circumstances, the Federal Marshals come to your ranch, don't ward them off with your own militia of armed fellow ranchers. Well if you must, and cameras are thrust in your face, we know how annoying that can be, don't offer up your ideas on Blacks in America, while this is an important subject that has been pressing on your mind, save them for your meetings with your fellow non taxpayers.

Blacks don't have a dog in this fight.

And to all old millionaires, you have only one thing a young girl would want from you. So it doesn't matter the race of Any younger man she might encounter, you can't compete in that arena.

Newsflash she DOES NOT love you.

Never speak with Anderson, Barbara, or Oprah without your crisis handler /legal adviser with you.

You think you're savvy enough to just tell your story, after all you've practiced it enough, just don't do it.

And more free advice, Pope and Co. would charge a lot.

Never get a mistress who has nothing to lose if your armor develops kinks, and you lose your business. If the mistress/ archivist is 50 years younger than you, just slowly walk away.

Crisis averted.

 

 

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