Being Cheated on Hurts, But Don't Blame the Other Woman, Blame Your Dusty Ass Husband

Being Cheated on Hurts, But Don't Blame the Other Woman, Blame Your Dusty Ass Husband
Talk show host Wendy Williams

Disclaimer: I know women cheat too, but the topic of this article is about cheating husbands, side pieces, and wives with displaced hurt and anger.

I was listening to The Rickey Smiley show this morning and the conversation topic was in regards to Wendy Williams blasting women who deal with married men. Now, it’s no secret she is going through her own pain connected to this. However, after listening to the conversation and callers constantly bashing the women, I thought ‘why the fuck is no one going harder on the person who created the issue (the way they are the other woman)?’

So here’s my take on this, in no way am I justifying cheating, but let's discuss some current factors and variables. For instance, do some married women know what this dating shit is like in 2019? They’ll attack women dealing with someone married not realizing that it ain’t got nothing to do with ‘wanting your life’ or man. I have spoken to many women, heard many perspectives and stories and so many of the single women have unfulfilled basic needs and are tired of what is out here. So a little of something, can feel better than a whole lot of nothing. And because they are tired, they will gladly take the consistency, attention, gifts, kindness, sex, support, and in many cases help ( financial and otherwise) that your husband is giving them. Especially when the MAJORITY of these single men out here are ghosting them, don't call or text back with any regularity, aren’t being transparent about their lives or circumstances, don’t want anything ‘serious’, complain about paying for dates, ‘don’t believe in marriage’, and dedicate whole fb debates to why they won’t ever ‘give no woman $40’ (hard eye roll). It's fucked up when you think about the fact that many married men are treating women outside of their marriage better than the so called available and dating ones. However, I believe THAT is why some women don’t seem to give a fuck anymore, not because of ‘low self esteem’. So don’t let your egos trick you into thinking otherwise.

And NEWSFLASH: Most women cheating with your husband don’t actually want to be with his raggedy ass either. So stop thinking they want what ‘you have’. They really don’t. He is simply filling a need and oftentimes just a reliable nut. So stop with the ‘home wrecker’ misnomer because the only person who can wreck your home is from within. I have always believed that and always will. Even through my own heartbreaks, never have I blamed the other woman. Whether those women knew about me or not, they never owed me shit. And they definitely didn’t owe me more loyalty and respect than my partner or husband.

I get it, it’s EASIER to blame the other woman, instead of potentially uprooting and having to change your entire life by holding your husband accountable to his own actions. However, this is what baffles me most about women who blame other women instead of their partner; WHY on EARTH do you expect a stranger ( or person you know for that matter) to be more caring and concerned about YOUR MARRIAGE than your own damn husband? He’s who committed to you, not anyone else.

Believe it or not, although A LOT of women are constantly turning down the advances of married men, it really isn’t their responsibility. So you shouldn’t expect that to be everyone's automatic response to your community dick ass man. If he pursues enough people, for whatever reason, someone is going to say yes. Other women are not the assigned enforcers of YOUR VOWS. It is not their job to police your husband and make sure he’s honoring and respecting you in your absence. That's his job. Because if it ain’t her, it would be somebody else if that is the mode of operation of the man you choose to love and deal with. And it’s foolish to think you can dictate to other adults (women, and in some cases men) that your husband is cheating with, what they can and can’t do. I’m sure hitting up 5-15 folks every month demanding they ‘stay away from your man’ when he’s the one who won’t leave them alone, has to be pretty tiring. It seems that it would probably be easier to just communicate and hold the one person you are with accountable, but I’m single now, so what do I know? Sarcasm definitely inserted.

So either leave, cheat back, or let him cheat in peace, but stop displacing your anger on a woman who owes you absolutely nothing ( unlike your husband, who owes you whatever y’all agreed to in your vows and marriage). I’m not saying any of it is right. I know all sides to this coin and the pain that comes with it. However, I am offering a different perspective and suggesting the anger and action be pointed directly at the source of your pain, not someone who could give a nanofuck about it.  Although I know it won’t. And there will probably be some very angry paragraphs and emails ( that I will not read) sent my way for saying these things. You see, women have been blaming women for the actions of men since the beginning of time and I doubt my little article will change that. 

 

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