Category: Child abuse

My Destination Wedding

Days after finishing college in the summer of 1972, I ran away from my parents’ home in Houston, Texas to Lima, Peru. I don’t remember if I could identify Peru on a map at the time; but details, right? When one is young and in love, one will go anywhere to be with the loved... Read more »

My Antisemitism Experience(s)

“Well, Candace is still married to that JEW Boy!” In the late 1990s I stood outside the bedroom door of my 80-something year old father only to hear him slander the man I’d loved and lived with for over 25 years. I was stunned, but not surprised. After all, hadn’t the bigotry storyline been a... Read more »

My Sex Assault; Why Christine Blasey Ford's Testimony Set Me Free

Watching Dr. Christine Blasey Ford give witness to her sex assault by Kavanaugh, I feel empowered to give witness to my sex assault. But I am afraid. In the era of soulless trolls, as more than one friend has counselled, it will open me up for derision and disbelief. But, as Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey... Read more »
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Munchhausen Mothers like Virginia; sick women who make their children sick

“Did your mother like being the mother of a sick child?” asked the new psychiatrist as he ended our first 90 minute session. My sleep deprived brain tried to remember the name of the book I’d read 20 years earlier about a mother poisoning her child to get attention as the mother of a chronically... Read more »

The Mother-in-Law (The Interview Oprah Missed)

You heard us before you saw us. With a jubilant scream, we’d run across rooms to embrace–startling bystanders and timid animals alike. At this point our heads would tilt together as we jabbered and finished each other’s sentences. So much to catch up from the last time we’d been together. My wonderful, BFF mother-in-law, Bea,... Read more »

Nursery Rhyme for the Abused Child

Ode to the ACE Test There was a young girl whose ACE score was high, I do know why her ACE score was high. Perhaps she’ll die (early). Epigenetics spilled chemicals awry, All because her ACE score was high. Perhaps she’ll die (early). Neurons were murdered, synapses soon die, All because her ACE score was... Read more »
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IgG and Me; The Immune System

You cannot see what I’m missing, but missing something very important, I am. So when my new Allergy/Immunologist doctor wanted to do allergy testing, I said okay. But I also wanted him to check my immune system. Why? his face said, but given he was doing blood work anyway, one more test didn’t matter. When... Read more »

How to kill religion in a kid? Beat the shit out of them, 'for their own good'

As the modern day Sherlock Holmes said on Elementary, “I’ve seen enough parental abuse to know that things are always the same. When someone, whose job it is to nurture you, hurts you instead, it cannot help but have a profound and lasting effect on your sense of who you are.” Science now posits childhood trauma... Read more »

The Handmaid's Tale; a storyline for yesterday and today

Beyond the excellent production values and performers, The Handmaid’s Tale resonates as a story of how the male patriarchy dominates the female. Once a month the male “Commander” ceremonially rapes the female handmaid, while his wife watches and holds holds the young woman’s arms. He is dominant. They are mere things he dominates. Having spent... Read more »
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Corporal Punishment IS Child Abuse

Let me be perfectly clear, all corporal punishment is child abuse , whether hit, spank, smack or switch (the Southern tradition) a child–it is child abuse. This is not my opinion. It is the specialists in psychology. Don’t give me that old saw declaiming it’s a Biblical injunction. Is that the very same Bible you cherry... Read more »
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    Candace Drimmer

    I was an accidental expatriate; love and marriage led me to it. One day I was a bandy-legged kid sitting atop my dogwood tree looking out of my small backyard world in 1950s New Jersey, wanting to move somewhere--anywhere, different. Next thing I knew my father had accepted a job in Houston TX. I was ecstatic, it was a foreign land in 1961 America. After high school graduation, my parents’ gave me a matched set of fawn-colored hardsided American Tourister luggage. Taking the hint, I went to college; well four colleges in five years--it was the 60s after all. Meeting a young hirsute anti-war, soon-to-be-Peace Corps volunteer, I fell in love. After finishing up college coursework for my degree, but before I even walking a graduation stage, I grabbed the paper airline ticket my boyfriend had sent me, my brand-new passport, and was off to the airport and Lima, Peru.

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