12 Days of Christmas-Circa 2012

An Imagined 12 Days of Christmas if the Mayans of The History Channel are wrong,

  • On the first day of Christmas Tom Skilling gave to me---a seasonal snow just in time for the 25th of December.
  • On the second day of Christmas my country gave to me--a version of Boxing Day while standing in line to return unwanted stuff.
  • On the third day of Christmas the CTA gave to me--a jolly, caroling-singing bus driver who smiled knowingly to all.
  • On the fourth day of Christmas the junk callers gave to me---my daily dose of two prerecorded junk calls to my do-not-call home phone.
  • On the fifth day of Christmas Mother Nature gave to we, her overheated climate change black melted slushy streets in Chicago.
  • On the sixth day of Christmas Costco gave to me---long lines of shoppers buying New Years party food and drink.
  • On the seventh day of Christmas MillerCoors gave to bus and car riders--virtually free New Years Eve rides to keep everyone safe.
  • On the eighth day of Christmas tradition gave to we---a day off to see friends round the leftovers of the holidays.
  • On the ninth day of Christmas my jeans gave to me---a reminder to eat and drink better, and less this year.
  • On the tenth day of Christmas the news gave to me--the joyful news of the economy boom during this holiday shopping.
  • On the eleventh day of Christmas Fox News gave to me--their news that the Mayans End of the world prediction was one year off.
  • On the twelfth day of Christmas the calendar gave to me---the realization that this happens but once a year.


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  • Since the Mayan prediction was Dec. 21, they must be wrong by now.

    Also, the MacKenzie Brothers said that Dec. 27 was Wrestling Day. And Deck the Halls with Loaves of Challie.

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