What a headline! The Chicago Tribune posts RECORD profits!!
Didn't see it, neither did I. And now I know, you never will.
All I tried to do was put the hard copy subscription of my Chicago Tribune on hold, for about 40 days. Hadn't www.nytimes.com let me put my New York Times hard copy subscription on hold? Took 45 seconds. Go to the web site, to vacation hold, and enter a stop date and start date. Done.
The web site of the Chicago Tribune says it doesn't allow holds of over 30 days, saying to call. So I call. After "press this" and "enter that" I ended up with an automated message saying that for holds over 30 days--talk to a representative. So I enter "ZERO" as it says and I get a feckless female voice. After asking various secret info like my name, phone and address, she says my phone number is not what I said.
"No it's not," says this vacuous voice.
"Yes it is," I respond. What is she bringing me down to, Mrs. Hearn's third grade class?
"No it's not. It ends with a ONE."
"No it does not." You can always tell when I get edgy, I stop speaking in contractions.
Click click click go her keys.
"You can't put a subscription on hold longer than 30 days," she says without losing a beat.
Did I leave shampoo hardening in my ears this morning? "WHY?"
She just repeats, I cannot put my subscription on hold for longer than 30 days. I explain, but I can do this with my New York Times newspaper, the one that is delivered by the same delivery person who brings the Trib. I cannot put my subscription on hold for longer than 30 days.
"You can't," is her only response. How do you debate with one who only speaks in dogma--Thou shalt not put your subscription on hold for longer than 30 days.
"Then cancel," I say--thinking this is getting way too Edward Albee-esque for me. "The whole subscription. Forever."
"Okay," responds the robot.
No discussion, no I'll ask my manager and then hand the phone over to another faceless voice--no we appreciate your being one of the last Chicagoans who wants a HARD COPY of a newspaper and thus, I keep my job. Nada. Zilch.
She kept blathering from scripts before her about nonsense I knew was bullshit...so I said, Good Bye and hung up.
Now, any questions of why the newspaper business is a dying business model?