The Goose Picks'em: Week 8

Boy, did I give a poor showing last week. All three of my underdog picks lost, moving me out of first place in my home league for the first time since Week 1. However, this change will be only temporary... hopefully.

Bye Week: Cincinnati Bengals, Kansas City Chiefs, New England Patriots, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Washington Redskins.

(Home teams in caps)

BALTIMORE RAVENS over Denver Broncos

I don't want to bet against the Broncos, but I don't want to bet on them either. They have playmakers for sure, but every time I look at that roster I don't understand how they are this good. On the other hand, we have the Ravens who are playing below expectations, but still have a very solid team. This one was a coin toss for me: undefeated Denver Broncos--coached by fellow John Carroll University alum Josh McDaniels--and the underperforming Ravens coming back fully rested from its bye week. I am going with the Ravens on the belief that their defense should be coming back to form and I am still having trouble understanding Denver's success. Oh, and because Chris Mortensen said so.

If Mort tells you to jump off a bridge you had better start looking for the closest river (deadspin.com)

CHICAGO BEARS over Cleveland Browns

The Chicago Bears are not good. They've lost games to Green Bay, Atlanta and Cincinnati--all good teams themselves--by a combined 48 points. They did beat the Steelers when Pittsburgh was in its early season slump, managed to pull out a win against Seattle and pulverized the Lions, but when they lose, they like to lose big. Thankfully for them, the Cleveland Browns love losing even more and should pose a nice welcome home for Cutler & Co.

Houston Texans over BUFFALO BILLS

I hate picking against my Bills every week, but until they show me why I should pick them, I'm going to have to continue betting against them. Jairus Byrd has been phenomenal for Buffalo in the past few games, but it looks like Andre Johnson may be back in Houston's lineup. With the help of Johnson, Matt Schaub has been decimating 4-3 defenses like that of Buffalo all season and, while the Bills have shown a variety of packages, Houston's offense will prove too potent. With Trent Edwards likely out for Buffalo, this game looks like it might be over quick.

Minnesota Vikings over GREEN BAY PACKERS

This looks like it will be a much closer game than the last matchup between Favre and his former team. I think there will be two main factors that vault the Vikings ahead this week: Minnesota will be looking to avenge a heartbreaking loss to the Steelers and Jared Allen and the Vikings defensive line will make trouble for a young Green Bay offensive line. The Packers line played great last week, but Aaron Rogers is still the most sacked quarterback in the league and I expect the Vikings to give the Packers a hard time at the line of scrimmage.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS over San Francisco 49ers

Peyton Manning continues his dominance in the league and though the 49ers have played tough football this season with an above average defense, expect Peyton to light them up on Sunday.

Miami Dolphins over NEW JERSEY JETS

This will most likely be a close game. The Jets are coming off a resounding victory against the inept Raiders, but they lost their previous two games, one to this Miami Dolphins team and the other to an incompetent Buffalo Bills group. I hate mentioning the Wildcat offense because it is so gimmicky, but guess what, it works. Other teams have tried it, but nobody does it like Miami. The Jets are the number one rushing team in the league, but Miami is right behind them. Also consider this, by holding opposing teams to 86.7 rushing yards per game, the Dolphins defense is number four in stopping the run. The Jets, meanwhile, are ranked 22^nd against the run. If Miami can stall the running game, then New Jersey will have to go to the air, and while the Dolphins are starting two rookie corners, Sanchez is tied for the second most interceptions thrown this season.

DETROIT LIONS over St. Louis Lambs

Yeee-haaaw Detroit! I am making up for going against my gut in picking the Redskins to beat you way back when--I'm really sorry and I hope this makes up for it. This is the first time I've picked the Lions to win a game in literally years. Don't let me down boys. The Lions are playing with heart this year, something we haven't seen in years, again. They have scored 20 or more points in three games so far and it took until Week 6 for them to get blanked--a major accomplishment for a team that went winless last year. While a -85 point differential may not sound like a big deal to the average team, it's an improvement for this team, and, oh wait, that's right, the Rams have a -151 point differential, an astounding 36 points lower than the next team.

DALLAS COWBOYS over Seattle Seahawks

Oh Seattle. How you have frustrated me this season. It seems you win most times I tell you to lose and you lose whenever I tell you to win. Well that's over now, this team is done. Prove me wrong Seattle, do it, I dare you. I quadruple dog dare you. You won't though, you're too scared. I'm renaming you; you're the Seattle Seagulls now and will remain so until further notice.

SAN DIEGO SUPERDUPER CHARGERS over Oakland Raiders*

Divisional games often play close, so don't expect the Chargers to win by much more than 20 or 30 points over the Pee Wee League Raiders. I'll still remain slightly worried about how the Raiders beat the Eagles a few weeks back, but to be honest I'm going to blame that on something more probable than the Raiders playing well... space aliens... from... Mercury, perhaps. Yeah, that's it. Go with the Chargers here, unless you see some flying saucers around San Diego in the lead up to the game.

TENNESSEE TITANS over Jacksonville Jaguars

This is just about a coin flip. Few teams have done the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde routine better than the Jaguars. They played the Colts to two points, beat the Titans by 20, showed up the Texans and are 3-3. But, they got burned badly by the Cardinals in Week 2, struggled to beat the Rams by 3 and got blown out 41 to nothing by the Seagulls. When it comes down to it, the divisional games for the Jaguars have been tight and I am thinking and hoping that this is the week that Jeff Fisher slips in the bathroom, hits his head and simultaneously remembers that he's a great coach for a talented team and invents the flux capacitor.

ARIZONA "BUZZSAW" CARDINALS over Carolina Panthers

The Cardinals have hit their stride, showing up the Giants last week and should have no problem stopping the Panthers, who haven't been much of a threat to anybody.

New Jersey Giants over PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

Both the Giants and the Yankees will be in town this weekend in what will become an either epically awesome or awful weekend for Philly fans. This game is a toss-up and when the game is on the line, I trust Andy Reid about as far as I can throw him--which is probably nowhere. The Giants are going to come out angry and Philadelphia will provide a strong opponent, but the G-Men have the big game experience and should be able to pull it out in the end.

I dare you to even try to pick him up, let alone throw for any distance (philadelphiaeagles.com)

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS over Atlanta Falcons

The Saints are incredible. Just phenomenal. But, you don't come here to read any pandering, so instead I'll tell you how disappointed I am--in the Falcons. Which is not at all. I like Matt Ryan, I like this team, and it's just unfortunate they have to play the Saints right now.

*Suicide Pool Pick o' the Week: San Diego over Oakland

Last Week: 8-5

Season: 70-33

The Peyton Manning Award for Best Performance, Week 7:

This is short and simple: it goes to Peyton Manning for taking things to the next level.

The Degenerate Gambler UFL Pick of the Week:

FLORIDA TUSKERS over Las Vegas Locomotives

I am going to continue to pick this team because, honestly, they are hands down the best team in the UFL. And for all you UFL doubters out there, tune in Friday and watch this game. The UFL intelligently broadcasts its game online, so you can watch them anywhere you have the internet. For those of us who may be at home, at school, work, or the library, this is fantastic. I cannot stress enough that this is a league that is making a legit attempt to become a fixture in American sports.

Of course no one can catch Haslett's undefeated Tuskers, just look at him (ufl-football.com)

Last Week: 1-0

Season: 1-0

Random Notes from Last Week:

• The Jets had two of the league's top five rushers last week and are ranked number one in rushing this season. Losing LeonWashington hurts them, but not as much as you'd think. Shonn Greene was great last week: 144 yards, two touchdowns.

• Buffalo Bills QB Trent Edwards will be out for this week's game against the Texans. Backup Ryan Fitzpatrick has been less than spectacular, but managed to win both games he has played in, bringing the Bills to a confounding 3-4 record. Fitzpatrick is not a good pick up for anyone looking to shore up a fantasy QB spot in the bye week - at one point, the Bills were up 7-0 with Fitzpatrick going 0-3 - but consider this: After Houston, the Bills have a bye followed by a game at Tennessee. This may be the game the Titans finally win, but it will also feature Edwards coming back from tons of rest against a weak defense. Too early to pick him up, but if you're going to have QB trouble in Week 10, keep an eye on him.

• How wrong was I about the Bengals - Bears game? The Bungles of last season have emerged into the real deal here and are back on top of the AFC North. The injury depleted Bears defense was unable to come up with an answer for Cedric Benson, who ripped his former team apart on the way to a 45-10 victory.

• Houston is a team on the rise and I'd be wary of any team playing them. Matt Schaub is playing very well and they hope that Andre Johnson's injury won't keep him off the field on Sunday against the Bills.

• Is anyone surprised that New Orleans came back against the Dolphins? If there is a team in the league that can overcome a large deficit late in the game, it's these guys. Drew Brees continues to make his case for league MVP and has his team is leading the league in points per game (39.7) and yards per game (427.3). Those numbers are just insane.