The Drunk Creeper is either easily deflected with a quick jab at his ego or relentless to the point that you have to change bars or even zip codes. He'll come swaggering over with unfocused eyes and bad breath, too intoxicated to formulate a decent pick-up line. Your initial reaction should be to reciprocate alcoholic annihilation. Swing your hair into your face, drop your shoulders, maybe even remove a shoe, and respond to him like a sorority girl who just downed a tray of jello shots. Your apparently wasted demeanor will be no match for his actually wasted mind, and he'll be forced to retreat.
The CTA Creeper can be difficult to elude. A train platform or even worse, a singular train car, leaves little space to hide in. You can't exactly walk away from an unshaven, possibly foul-smelling late-night creeper when the only red line for the next 20 minutes is visibly approaching. My advice: look confused for a second, then start making sign language gestures with your hands as if you're deaf. The only way this won'y work is if Mr. Creepy is certified by the American Sign Language Association. Doubtful.
The Around Town Creeper hides his true colors carefully. He's a chameleon to his natural surroundings and will catch you off guard by approaching as a seemingly normal human. "What's that you ordered?" he'll ask politely. "Oh, it's just a chai tea--" "You should come see my basement." The most difficult creeper to run away from is one you've already started a conversation with. Faking drunk or deaf or even unable to speak English are no longer options. Should this situation arise, cut Coffee Creeper off in mid-sentence as if you just remembered something, "Oh my God, is today Tuesday?? Is it??" "Uum. yes?" "Shit! I'm supposed to be at the gyno right now!" Then, flee.
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