Tonight's contest against the San Francisco 49ers could very well be the knockout punch that sends this season to the bottom of Lake Michigan. But in reality Bears fans, things could get a whole lot worse. Don't believe me? Let me prove it to you with the Top Ten Things Ways This Season Could Get Any Worse.
10. Raise Ticket Prices
Who wouldn't want to spend half their salary on season tickets so they can watch Jay Cutler's career get cut just a bit shorter every Sunday?
9. Second Chance
Knowing that the defense can't get any worse, Lovie makes Bob Babich defensive coordinator yet again. Smith is now free to fail miserably at fixing the offense.
8. Draft Help
Matt Millen's experience drafting wide receivers is too good to pass up and is hired as a consultant under Jerry Angelo to find the next Charles Rogers.
7. Infamy
Replays of Adrian Peterson breaking the single game rushing record twice in the same season against this year's Bears will be played when he's enshrined in Canton.
6. Lose to the Lions
Giving the Lions their second win in two seasons would make the season about as enjoyable as sticking your tongue to a pole when it's twenty below zero.
5. Lose Briggs
Angelo swings for the fences and sends Briggs away for a few draft picks he can use on more players that'll be out of the league in two years.
4. Lose to Favre...Twice
The idea of Favre carving up this poor excuse for a defense on two seperate occasions is enough to make me move to Europe and become a futbol fan.
3. Contract Extension
The team low-balls Lovie into a league minimum deal, guaranteeing Bears nation uninspiring football for years to come.
2. The Return
Tired of Jerry Angelo's ineptitude, Michael McCaskey is given control of the Bears organization. In unrelated news, alcohol consumption rates in Chicago skyrocket.
1. Lose Tonight
Drop this game and the Bears' chances at a playoff berth make the idea of the Cubs not losing money on Milton Bradley a forgone conclusion.
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