Top Ten Reasons Why Ozzie Guillen is Good for the World Series

2009-10-28T10:14:48Z

With the World Series officially getting underway tonight, I started thinking about how I could convince you to sit down and watch the Phillies and Yankees take part in the Fall Classic.

Alex Rodriguez going from goat to great? Back-to-back championships for the Phils? The battle between C.C. Sabathia and Cliff Lee?

Nope, still not strong enough to pull the casual Chicago baseball fan into this one. But then I remembered Fox announced that Ozzie Guillen would be in the booth to do pre-and post-game commentary and immediately rejoiced. I give you the Top Ten Reasons Why Ozzie Guillen is Good for the World Series.

10. Fundraising

You and I both know the government could use a few extra bucks these days. That's why you'll probably find Barack Obama glued to the tube hoping Ozzie slips up so he can unleash the FCC collection hounds.

9. Chicago Flavor

As ESPN's transformation into a full on New York news machine nears completion, we can at least take solace in the fact that Ozzie will be representing the city on baseball's biggest stage.

8. Street Cred

Considering Joe Buck and Tim McCarver's swagger is nowhere near a hundred thousand trillion, Guillen instantly gives the World Series some street cred valid in all fifty states.

7. Future Opportunities

How is it we don't have pay per view with Guillen and Jim Leyland sitting at a bar watching the game and doing commentary?

Leyland would be sucking down heaters like a champ while Ozzie mumbles incoherently about blow up dolls and small ball.

6. Knowledge

Guillen's got a history against a lot of these guys and don't think for a second he'll hesitate to share his thoughts on their strengths and weaknesses.

Hearing what he'll say about Nick Swisher is must see T.V. at its finest.

5. Filibuster

Thanks to Major League Baseball's insistence on playing baseball in its natural wintry elements, there's plenty of opportunities for weather delays.

Enter Ozzie.

What better way to kill time than giving Guillen a controversial topic and letting him speak his mind?

4. Honesty

As we speak, the Fox broadcast booth is scouring the thesaurus to find any adjective they can use to blow some extra smoke towards Phillies and Yankees players.

But if there's one thing Ozzie Guillen does not do, it's blow smoke in anyone's direction. That is, unless you're the Minnesota Twins. That man loves him some piranhas.

3. Unintentional Comedy

All tirades aside, Ozzie's ability to butcher a name is second only to the late great Harry Caray. You can count on at least a few gems before it's all said and done.

2. The Expected

It's obvious we're all hoping to see a tailor made expletive laced tirade from Ozzie at some point in this series. But we'll need something to tick him off, so I'm starting a collection plate to pay off Alex Rodriguez in the hopes that he'll question Ozzie's manhood on air.

Get your popcorn ready.

1. The Barkley Factor

While I don't think Fox is hoping Guillen will offer to have someone's name tattooed on their ass like Chuck, it doesn't hurt the two share so many similarities. Inside the NBA on TNT is arguably the best pregame show in sports, thanks in large part to Barkley operating without much of a filter.

It's obvious Fox is trying to do the same and we applaud them for it.

Comment from Alligator Derski on 2009-10-28

2009-10-28T13:11:47Z

Great list and I can't wait to hear Ozzie's commentary on Swish.

Comment from southsider on 2009-10-28

2009-10-28T17:06:24Z

Let's see, who's the worst speaker we can think of? Ozzie. He starts talking and I change the channel. Can't understand half of what he's saying. Bad move.

Comment from halloweenbaby on 2009-10-28

2009-10-28T18:02:43Z

When I first heard Ozzie was going to be a commentator I thought it was a pass-on joke. I called everyone I knew to confirm it. They had heard it too but didn't believe it. Then I heard it was to up the Latino interest in the games. If the number of Latinos in the games doesn't generate interest then this ploy won't. I usually don't understand a word the man says; so I will watch the game but will switch channels and not waste my time watching him. Just one more nail in the everybody's running down crazy road coffin.

Comment from halloweenbaby on 2009-10-28

2009-10-28T18:24:47Z

I agree with southsider whole-heartedly. I always turn him off too- Can barely understand him.

Comment from halloweenbaby on 2009-10-28

2009-10-28T18:26:56Z

At least he's only doing the pre and post. I was mistakenly told that he was announcing the game. What a disaster that would have been. I'd have to watch it with the sound off.

Comments for Top Ten Reasons Why Ozzie Guillen is Good for the World Series

Top Ten Reasons Why Ozzie Guillen is Good for the World Series

Comment from Alligator Derski on 2009-10-28

Comment from southsider on 2009-10-28

Comment from halloweenbaby on 2009-10-28

Comment from halloweenbaby on 2009-10-28

Comment from halloweenbaby on 2009-10-28